Grab your cigars and pistols, dear readers, because it’s time to get your Bonnie and Clyde on. 

The Challenge: In teams of two, the designers are tasked with creating updated Bonnie and Clyde-inspired looks for a young, modern couple. The looks must complement each other, but will be critiqued individually, which is how every team challenge should work, so that great designs aren’t stuck in the bottom because of their counterparts, and vice versa.

Guest Judges: PRAS alum Austin Scarlett, designer Elie Tahari, and model Bar Refaeli. It was a packed house of glamour and beauty and attitude, and that’s before you add Tahari and Refaeli!

CHRISTOPHER PALU
Top 3

Photo: Lifetime

The belt and whatever you’d like to call that back-harness thing were spectacular. The rest of the gown was pretty, but not particularly innovative. I love the color and the draping in the bust, but it seems sheer in very random places. I think the hard-and-soft combination makes for an excellent reference point to the Bonnie and Clyde inspiration. Definitely worthy of the top three, but not my personal choice for the win.

VIKTOR LUNA
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

The shoulders and lapels were a problem. I like the idea of changing up the texture in those areas, but the fabrics didn’t work well enough together, stretching and pulling and creating an awkward silhouette. And since Viktor dresses so much like this every day, but he has time to actually make/buy those looks, the model looked a little shabby standing next to him. And that should never be the case.

ELENA SLIVNYAK 

Photo: Lifetime

Cool, chic, but not particularly memorable. Thus, appropriate to kept in the safe pile.

KORTO MOMOLU

Photo: Lifetime

I thought this was some of the best work Korto has done so far this season. The jacket is undeniable cool, and not like anything I’ve seen before. I loved the suspenders hanging down from the sides of those pants, which seem a bit high-waisted but otherwise very well-executed. Jeffrey got all the praise for his menswear coat, which was very nice, but I think if a menswear look was going to win, it should easily have been this one over Jeffrey’s.

IRINA SHABAYEVA
Top 3

Photo: Lifetime

This seemed like a random combination of garments that didn’t actually add up to an outfit. It felt a bit sloppy and very predictable coming from Irina. The judges seem happy to overpraise her or ignore her entirely, but I’d have tossed this look in the bottom three.

MYCHAEL KNIGHT
Eliminated

Photo: Lifetime

Oof. I love Mychael, but this was a mess, and his elimination was fair. I could not stop seeing this as a Chippendale’s costume – I was convinced these were tearaway clothes that the model was mere moments away from, well, tearing away. There was no way to make that gold fabric work, especially when the jacket ended up so tight on the model.

SETH AARON HENDERSON
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

By far my favorite look on the runway. I thought this was brilliant, perfectly executed, fabulously styled, incredibly wearable yet high fashion, and true to the inspiration. I don’t know why the judges hated on the leather embellishments – maybe he could have nixed the ones at the elbows, but other than that, I think they’re stunning elements and necessary to the gritty-meets-pretty aesthetic Seth Aaron was going for.

JEFFREY SEBELIA
Winner

Photo: Lifetime

The coat is very nice, I’ll give Jeffrey that much. But the pants underneath it seem like pajamas at best, and the length is absolutely insane. Of course, the judges happily ignored that in order to tell a Jeffrey redemption story and therefore keep one of their loose-cannon-drama-queen-ratings-booster characters in the competition longer. I’d be angry, if I hadn’t seen it coming a mile away. Oh, Project Runway. You’re always so reliable.

Judges’ Top 3: Jeffrey, Christopher, Irina
Diva’s Top 3: Seth Aaron, Korto, Christopher
Judges’ Bottom 3: Seth Aaron, Viktor, Mychael
Diva’s Bottom 3: Irina, Viktor, Mychael

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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The All Stars hit the red carpet! Actually, they are allowed nowhere near a red carpet, but they get to design for it, so that’s something. 

The Challenge: The designers get needlessly helicoptered to QVC Headquarters in Pennsylvania. (Mostly so we can watch them scream their heads off.) They are tasked with creating a red carpet look for Lisa Robertson, who I’ve never heard of but who has apparently been a QVC program host for almost twenty years. The winning look will be sold on QVC and worn by Lisa during the red carpet season.

Guest Judge: Lisa Robertson, Project Runway All Stars winner Mondo Guerra, and Mad Men‘s Elisabeth Moss, whom I worship, even if her red carpet game isn’t always A+. All-in-all, a pretty fabulous panel of judges.

CHRISTOPHER PALU
Top 3

Photo: Lifetime

This dress was as Christopher as it gets – by that I mean, it was very pretty, but it also looked like a Zac Posen knock-off. The smoky effect of the sheer layers in the skirt is absolutely fabulous – that detail alone probably would have bumped it into the top three for me. Christopher bit off a bit more than he could chew, trying to do his favorite technique (I’m sure it has a real name, but I’m calling it the rippling effect) within the time frame. I think that explains the construction issues in the bodice. But with a few small adjustments, I could see a starlet rocking this on the red carpet, so I suppose it’s a job reasonably well done.

ELENA SLIVNYAK
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

I know Elena put a lot of work into creating this textile, but I don’t think it was time well spent. It’s all over the place – there seem to be patches of animal-print-like stripes in very random areas, sometimes symmetrical, sometimes not. And the silhouette is old-fashioned and stuffy, which is probably a critique Elena’s never gotten before – if anything, her work is sometimes too futuristic. She heard “red carpet,” got freaked, and pulled some fabrics she didn’t really know how to use. I’m glad she wasn’t eliminated, because as annoying as her meltdowns can be, she has a lot of talent. Her decoy collection from Season 10 was so good, it was easily mistakable for one of the finalists’ collections, if not the winning one. And she has a strong point of view, which I think was her biggest strength over Irina.

IRINA SHABAYEVA
Eliminated

Photo: Lifetime

This paper-like dress tore apart on the runway, and the judges were right to send her home for that. I only wish they applied that rule more consistently – the rule being that shit that falls apart on the runway has no place in this competition. It’s not like this was the first time we’ve seen that happen, but usually, the designer just gets a slap on the wrist for it. Anyway, Irina’s wedding gown was ill-conceived from the beginning. She said something about how all white red carpet gowns could be considered bridal, and how that’s fine, but I disagree. I’ve seen plenty of white gowns on the red carpet that did not look remotely bridal, and bridal is usually one of the last things a starlet wants to look like on the red carpet (unless she’s engaged and likes the press attention, like Jessica Biel just before she married Justin Timberlake). Between the failed concept and the clearly problematic execution, I think eliminating Irina for this look was necessary.

KORTO MOMOLU
Winner

Photo: Lifetime

Korto whipped this together in the final hours of the challenge, but it had more intrigue and design than last week’s hastily-created look from Seth Aaron. I think the orange fabric is absolutely stunning, though the taupe fabric at the top would probably make Lisa look a little washed-out. But I found this flattering and a little bit surprising, making up for the mediocre execution. In any event, that was enough to win this week, since it seems no one really had quite enough time to make what they envisioned for their red carpet looks.

SETH AARON HENDERSON
Top 3

Photo: Lifetime

The pictures don’t begin to show how ridiculous Seth Aaron made his model’s hips and ass look in this dress. It was absolutely awful. And I think this photographs terribly, and looks very shoddily made. Seth Aaron is slipping, and I don’t like it, because he really is one of my favorites. But this silhouette and the optical-illusion black piping down the sides just destroyed this model’s flawless figure. That’s the opposite of what a red carpet dress is supposed to do.

VIKTOR LUNA
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

This had some puckering issues, and the color definitely does not work on everyone, but I didn’t think this was worse than Seth Aaron’s look. It wouldn’t look out of place on a red carpet – that alone would have made me give Viktor the top three spot over Seth Aaron. This episode brought us a Very Special Lifetime Moment that nonetheless totally made me cry because I’m easily manipulated like that, as Viktor came out as HIV-positive to his fellow designers. Doing it in the middle of the workday – literally pulling the designers away from their looks to tell them – seemed like some heavy-handed producer influence to me, but I’m proud of and inspired by Viktor, for sharing that piece of himself with all of us.

Judges’ Top 3: Korto, Christopher, Seth Aaron
Diva’s Top 3: Korto, Christopher, Viktor
Judges’ Bottom 3: Viktor, Elena, Irina
Diva’s Bottom 3: Seth Aaron, Elena, Irina

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Fashion bloggers get the spotlight in this episode, but all I care about is Nina. 

The Challenge: We were led to believe this episode would be ALL ABOUT NINA, but it was actually all about fashion bloggers. And since Democracy Diva was not included in that group of fashion bloggers, no one cared about them at all. The designers were paired with beauty and style bloggers who served as their models, and were tasked with creating a new trend for 2014. They also had to include a color that everyone very seriously referred to as “radiant orchid,” as if that’s a color we’ve all heard of for our whole lives and not just a completely random pairing of words. The winning designer gets to shoot a video with Nina for a fashion blog, and received a lovely $10,000 prize package that includes a stay in Belgium. (Random, but undeniably fabulous.)

Guest Judges: Nina Garcia (who should be part of every judging panel for everything, until the end of time), Christian Siriano (who appears to have halted the aging process altogether), and Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein (whom I find kind of boring, but he’s a big name, so Runway likes to grab him when they can, I suppose).

CHRISTOPHER PALU
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

I laughed my ass off when Christopher opined about the lack of romantic, feminine trench coats on the runways, only to have Zanna deadpan “Burberry” as her response. His follow-up stammering just proved how little this boy actually thinks before he speaks – and more importantly, at least in this industry, how little he thinks before he designs. It seems that a lot of the designers came up with their outfits first, and tried to pick something out that could serve as the next big trend, but the point of the challenge was to start with the trend and work from there. Christopher decided he wanted to make a girly trench, and wouldn’t let a little thing like it not being at all relevant to the challenge get in his way. Unfortunately, he’s no Christopher Bailey of Burberry. Even a perfectly-executed version of this look wouldn’t have really impressed me, because it still would have lacked the requisite trend prediction, and it just barely used the “radiant orchid” (I can’t discuss that color without using sarcastic quotation marks around that ridiculous name) that was also a requirement for the challenge. But this was ill-fitting, unflattering, not particularly unique, and worst of all, it didn’t even seem like Christopher was trying to fulfill the requirements of the challenge. He just knew that his obnoxiously big mouth would mean that the judges wouldn’t send him home yet, no matter how bad his look was, and so he gets to stay, even though pairing that military green with that “radiant orchid” purse should be considered a war crime.

ELENA SLIVNYAK
Bottom 3

Photo: Lifetime

Alyssa Milano won a permanent place in my heart for standing up for the petite ladies of the world, and wondering why on earth Elena would do something like this to a 4’9″ woman. The pictures actually make this look decent, but on television, this poor little woman was absolutely swallowed by that insane jacket, and the length of the skirt only made her look shorter. And in usual Elena fashion, she spent so much time working on one of her “signature” jackets that she seems to have forgotten to design literally anything else. Most of Elena’s jackets, while stylish and cool in a futuristic way, are so thick and bulky that they seem impossible to actually wear. Combine that effect with such a petite woman, and anything the jacket had going for it just fades away. Also, a peplum? For a challenge about a new trend, not one that we haven’t gone a day without seeing for the last year? Thumbs down.

KORTO MOMOLU
Winner

Photo: Lifetime

Crappy QVC accessories aside, this was the clear winner. Korto seemed to be the only designer who actually thought about her 2014 trend first (the white suit) and created the look around that concept. I think that’s why she had so much success compared to her competitors. I loved the way she used the “radiant orchid” color on the other side of those panels – it was just a pop of color, but somehow it looked like a bigger and better use of the shade than Christopher’s little clutch. The vest was a great idea, the panels on it were beautiful, and the pants fit like a dream. I can’t say my pale ass will be rocking a white suit in the new year, but for darker-skinned ladies, it’s definitely a killer trend.

SETH AARON HENDERSON
Top 2

Photo: Lifetime

A beautifully constructed, well-designed dress. But what was the new trend supposed to be? Seth Aaron babbled about colorblocking and seaming, but he didn’t really have a specific enough trend nailed down. He should have said the trend was leather cap sleeves – I’m not a huge fan, but at least it’s something specific and recognizable about this look. This is definitely chic and wearable, but it lacks the kind of originality that I expect from someone as talented as Seth Aaron.

VIKTOR LUNA
Eliminated

Photo: Lifetime

That’s a dress you could pick up at any mall in America. The leather jacket is undeniably cute and definitely wearable, but like Elena, Viktor focused too much on the jacket and not enough on the rest of the design. And there’s no element of this look that I can pick out and say, “This will be the new trend for 2014.” I still maintain that Christopher’s sad little Burberry knockoff was far, far worse than this, but I can’t say this was All Stars worthy.

Judges’ Top 2: Korto and Seth Aaron
Diva’s Top 3: Korto and Seth Aaron
Judges’ Bottom 3: Elena, Christopher, Viktor
Diva’s Bottom 3: Elena, Viktor, Christopher

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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We’re nearing the final stretch, dear readers. 

The Challenge: The designers have two days to create a ready-to-wear look for the fashion label Milly. Their designs must be approved by the company’s president to make sure there cost-effective to retail for $400. The winning look will be manufactured and sold by Milly with profits going to Save the Garment Center.

Guest Judge: Michelle Smith of Milly, the eternally adorable Kristin Chenoweth, and for some unknown reason, Nick Cannon, who is apparently contractually obligated to mention his wife in every public appearance he makes.

CHRISTOPHER PALU
Eliminated

Photo: Lifetime

Sorry, Christopher, but this was clearly the worst look of the four finalists. The skirt is gorgeous, but that top is terrible from concept to execution. And the judges finally said the thing I’ve been thinking about Christopher since his season – he doesn’t have a strong point of view. And on this show, that’s usually a bigger crime than anything else. Instead of simply auf-ing him, the judges decided to torture him and Korto with an on-the-runway, last-minute, one-hour challenge in which they had to create a look from three of their prior runway looks. Christopher didn’t fare much better there:

Photo: Lifetime

I mean, the fact that they were do anything but sit on the runway and cry during that final hour was impressive enough to me. This was absolutely fine, and miraculous under the circumstances, but both of Korto’s looks were better than both of Christopher’s looks., as far as I’m concerned.

ELENA SLIVNYAK
Top 2

Photo: Lifetime

I don’t care how interesting and great the colors are – I thought this clearly deserved to be in the bottom alongside Christopher. Elena refused to budge so much as a millimeter outside the very restricted box she keeps herself in – this is indistinguishable from half the dresses she’s made in the past. And Christopher’s comment about how those sleeves look like giant ears was spot-on – I can’t un-see that. The idea that those crazy shoulders would be commercially viable was a joke. I do think the lipstick matching the back of those shoes is kind of a killer detail, but that wasn’t enough to make me actually like this look.

KORTO MOMOLU
Bottom 2

Photo: Lifetime

The back of this dress is fucking flawless. I do have some issues with the fit in the front, but I thought this was more Milly and more sellable than anything else on the runway. I liked Seth Aaron’s look more than Korto’s look, because his had a lot more detail and was executed brilliantly, but for the parameters of this challenge, I’m still convinced Korto should have won. This seemed relatively cheap to make, easy to sell, and utterly adorable. Oh, and she blew my mind with what she was able to create in an hour:

Photo: Lifetime

She made a skirt out of pants and a top out of a skirt. Korto truly transformed the few pieces she had to work with, and created something that didn’t just look like clothes, but felt like fashion. I don’t have faith the judges will give Korto the win, but I’m still on her team.

SETH AARON HENDERSON
Winner

Photo: Lifetime

As I said earlier, I absolutely love this look, though I would have nixed the keyhole in front just to clean it up a bit. The styling is flawless, the execution is breathtaking, and the movement of that skirt looked so stunning on the runway. But while I love the amount of detail Seth Aaron puts into his work, those details also made this dress less wearable and more expensive to create. I know Milly will edit out whatever they think will make this dress more profitable, but it doesn’t seem right to award the win to a dress you know you’ll have to change, when Korto’s simpler look could have sold with only minor alterations. Thoughts, dear readers? Don’t be afraid to tell me I’m wrong.

Judges’ Top 2: Seth Aaron and Elena
Diva’s Top 2: Korto and Seth Aaron
Judges’ Bottom 2: Korto and Christopher
Diva’s Bottom 2: Elena and Christopher

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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The end is here, dear readers. 

The Challenge: The designers are tasked with creating a mini-collection inspired by their countries of origin for a runway show at the United Nations. Oh, and they’re forced to throw in an additional look made of a random printed fabric thrown in at the last minute.

Guest Judges: Gayle King (BFF to Oprah, and no, I have no idea what she was doing there either) and fashion designer/Project Runway judge Zac Posen.

ELENA SLIVNYAK
Third place

Photo: Lifetime

Elena’s collection was, in a word, ELENA. Like we all predicted she would, Elena trapped herself inside her tiny little box of futuristic jackets with big shoulders, and didn’t show us anything we haven’t seen from her before. That’s not to say there weren’t some beautiful, stylish looks, like this first one, but there was not a surprise to be found amongst this collection.

Photo: Lifetime

One of the judges critiqued that Elena spends so much time on the tops of her looks that she nearly always neglects the bottom half. That’s always been one of her biggest flaws, and it ever-so-slightly reaffirmed my faith in this show to hear a judge actually call her out on that. For all the intricacy her jackets and tops contain, this very basic skirt was the most interesting silhouette she showed below the waist of any over her looks.

Photo: Lifetime

Same skirt, different color, and this one doesn’t go with the top half at all.

Photo: Lifetime

Cool jacket; the bottom is a complete throwaway.

Photo: Lifetime

I found this hideously unflattering, though the judges didn’t seem to agree.

Photo: Lifetime

These proportions are a nightmare. Oh, and there is maybe no styling choice I hate more than clip-on bangs. Even Seth Aaron’s obnoxious glasses on every model didn’t bother me as much as Elena’s addiction to fake fringe.

Photo: Lifetime

Flowy and easygoing are not Elena’s strong suits. Taken in a vacuum, this collection might have pleased some, but anyone who’s seen Elena’s prior work knows this is all she’s done before, and apparently all she’s ever going to do. I’m so glad the judges actually recognized that, at least in this episode, if not the others.

KORTO MOMOLU
Runner-up

Photo: Lifetime

This was a spectacular opening look, and one of my favorites in Project Runway history. It was warm and feminine, effortlessly sexy, and the cut-out in the back? Delicious, and so perfectly Korto. She and Seth Aaron both showed beautiful, interesting collections that showed their voices as designers while also highlighting their versatility. Their aesthetics are so different that it was hard to compare them, and difficult for me personally to choose which I liked best. I think I’d agree with giving Seth Aaron the win because his collection was more cohesive, and Korto had more looks I didn’t love. But as far as I’m concerned, it was a very close competition.

Photo: Lifetime

This dress would have been so much better without the peplum. That skirt is so delicate and lovely, but the peplum is completely unnecessary. Let’s finally let that particular runway trend die, please.

Photo: Lifetime

This doesn’t translate quite as well to photos, because the movement of these pieces was what made this look particularly spectacular. Definitely one of my favorites of Korto’s collection.

Photo: Lifetime

I hate that mini-skirt underneath the printed fabric – I think this dress would have been so much better with a complete skirt in the print, and without the belt.

Photo: Lifetime

The weight of the top of the dress seemed to be out of balance with the lightness of the bottom, but I liked what she was going for here. This had a sort of modern art deco aesthetic that really drew me in.

Photo: Lifetime

I don’t think she does the big shoulders particularly well, and this look seemed to be for a woman much older than the one who’d wear the rest of the collection. I just don’t think this one fit in particularly well.

Photo: Lifetime

Beautiful, but I hate how much the bracelets distract from the dress. It didn’t pack quite enough of a punch to be her finale look, but it was still a collection that felt like a breath of fresh air.

SETH AARON HENDERSON
Winner

Photo: Lifetime

Seth Aaron isn’t one to shy away from theatrics, which is why I’ve always loved him as a designer. I know he’s too cartoonish for some, but that’s exactly what I love about his work. As I said earlier, the giant glasses were a bit much for every single model to wear, but I thought they worked so perfectly here, with his take on the little black dress. The mix of textures was very interesting, and the cut-outs in back were expertly tailored, like basically everything Seth Aaron makes.

Photo: Lifetime

I could very easily understand why people might hate this look, but I absolutely love it. He definitely should have ditched the glasses for this one, but I thought this was so much fun. His collection gave you color when you thought you’d get monochromatics, and vice versa – everything felt like a little surprise, and in my opinion, that’s what makes for a great collection.

Photo: Lifetime

An incredibly important piece in Seth Aaron’s collection, this look proved that for all his over-the-top tendencies, the boy can edit. He’s not so committed to his own personal point of view that he can’t create something easygoing and wearable – that’s what distinguishes him from Elena, who couldn’t create something this simple and lovely and outside her box if her life depended on it. This is one of the most flawless little white dresses I’ve ever seen.

Photo: Lifetime

Definitely the weak link in an otherwise strong collection. I understand what drew him to this print, but I didn’t think it worked particularly well here, at least not when tucked in to this rather disappointing skirt.

Photo: Lifetime

To me, this looked incredible on the runway. Seth Aaron can mix textures like a pro. This was a risk, but I think it paid off.

Photo: Lifetime

I love the front and the back, but I think they belong on two different dresses.

Photo: Lifetime

Stunning and Dior-esque from the front; slightly too wide and Little Red Riding Hood-esque from the back. But it’s a memorable finale look that packs a punch. Seth Aaron brought the drama and brought it hard, and for that, I think he deserved the win.

Judges’ Final Rankings: Seth Aaron, Korto, Elena
Diva’s Final Rankings: Seth Aaron, Korto, Elena

Thank you for joining Democracy Diva for another fabulous season of Project Runway, dear readers. Continue the sass with me on Twitter tonight for the Golden Globes red carpet & show – I’ll be starting at 6 PM EST!

—
© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Welcome back to another season of Project Runway! 

The Challenge: First, the show made us sit through the final audition, where we have to watch people on the show say “I can’t believe I’m not on the show yet!” EVEN THOUGH WE’RE LITERALLY WATCHING THEM ON THE SHOW. One man named Tim was silly enough to think that the judges might be open-minded enough to accept him when he announced his ideal client is a middle-aged lesbian. But the offensively incredulous look on Heidi’s face after he said that sealed the deal. “Your dream client is not me? YA AWWWT.” So farewell Tim, Nzinga, and Emmanuel, we hardly knew ye. Actually, we didn’t know ye at all.

The sixteen remaining designers enter the newly designer, tackier-than-ever workroom. It’s purple and teal, like the dream house I designed in my head when I was ten years old and thought the Spice Girls would have the lasting power of the Beatles. We have an ALDO accessories wall – hey, it could be worse – and a new sponsorship from Red Robin. Because nothing says high fashion like fast food, right?! Each designer gets a small black trunk containing five fabrics of three yards each. They can trade fabrics with their competitors, but they only have one day to create a spring look for the runway.

Guest Judge: Modern Family‘s Julie Bowen. She was … let’s say overly enthusiastic, instead of terrifyingly manic.

ALEXANDER KNOX

Photos: Lifetime

I use the phrase “standard middle-of-the-road fare” for SO many things on this show (particularly in the first half of the season) that I think it deserves an acronym. Let’s call it SMORF. Now every time someone creates something that was clearly designed to be considered safe in the eyes of the judges, we can just yell SMORF and be done with it!

Alexander’s entry was total SMORF. Pretty and inoffensive, with just one element making it anything other than the world’s most basic dress. If that’s not guaranteed to make it to the middle of the pack when there’s still sixteen designers left, I don’t know what is.

AMANDA VALENTINE
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

For some reason, Amanda was voted to return to the show. (The fans had the option to choose forgettable Amanda, Ken Lauren the sociopath, or Alexander Pope, the fabulous ginger dandy with the crazy eyebrows and delicious drag queen aesthetic. I obviously voted for Alexander.) She basically says that on her previous season, she wasn’t enough of a camera-whore, and she wants to change that. OH, GOOD. Because this show DEFINITELY needs more people who act out for attention. Sigh.

Anyway, her look was well-praised, and for good reason. Those are some very nicely-fit pants, which is quite an achievement – even in multiple-day challenges, most designers on this show never seem to be able to create a well-crafted pant. It wasn’t my favorite look, but it was chic, vaguely interesting, and it had a point of view.

ANGELA SUM
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

During the final audition, Angela seemed on the precipice of a complete panic attack, dropping things and stuttering and generally looking terrified to be breathing the same air as Heidi, Nina, and Zac. (Zac Posen is darling, but I do miss Michael Kors.) Angela was immediately cast as the Nervous One, and her fellow contestants seemed to be actively trying to get her to implode. Over/under on how soon this poor girl has a meltdown and quits the show?

Nina called those slits “sluts,” but maybe she doesn’t know what 21-year-olds are wearing on the red carpet right now. Because Miley Cyrus would wear the shit out of those pants, and she’s not the only one. Tim Gunn was not wrong to suggest that these pants need to come with a free bikini wax, but I didn’t hate them. I was actually completely on board with this look – the top was cool, the colors were fresh, and the styling was flawless – until the model turned around. This photo only displays the barest shadow of ass-crack, but I promise you, it was on full display. Even Rihanna would have been like, “eh, it’s a bit much.”

CARRIE SLEUTSKAYA

Photos: Lifetime

They are two female contestants with blue hair this season, so I have to specify that Carrie is the one who has the long blue-and-purple hair, not the one with the blue pixie cut. Anyway, her dress was bright and interesting, and this kind of look is incredibly trendy on the red carpet right now. From the cut-outs to the hip embellishments to the print, this was an all-around great look, and very impressively executed for a one-day challenge. It wasn’t quite original enough to make it into my top three, but it came close.

CHAR GLOVER
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Char is the only contestant so far who I find both memorable and refreshingly un-obnoxious, so I’m on her team for now. Her fellow contestant whined that circle skirts are too easy to make, but this one was impeccably done. Paired with that bright, interesting, and on-trend crop top, it was an all-around fantastic look. My favorite element of this look was the neckline:

Photo: Lifetime

THAT COLLAR. I LOVE IT.

EMILY PAYNE

Photos: Lifetime

Emily is the other blue-haired chick, but I was not a fan of this look. A basic gown with a cardboard-looking bustier over it? This was just lazy and uninspired.

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photos: Lifetime

Heidi loves having a German friend to talk to, but I admit, I initially could not take this man seriously. Until the runway show, that is, because I absolutely adored this dress. Zoe Saldana could wear this on the red carpet tomorrow with absolutely no alterations, and she’d make every best dressed list there is. The silhouette is simple, but the print-mixing is fantastic. Definitely worthy of my top three.

HERNAN LANDER

Photos: Lifetime

Hernan got lucky that there were more obvious disasters on the red carpet. This is sad and boring, and I think I can see the model’s colon.

JEFFERSON MUSANDA
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

This definitely had its problems, but it wasn’t the worst thing on the runway. I like the shape of the top – at least from the front – and I could at least see where Jefferson was trying to go with those shorts, even if they were a disaster. They also sort of floated off the model’s body in a way that displayed way too much under-butt, so I can understand why the judges were quick to eliminate him. But at least this showed an attempt at taste and creativity, whereas Mitchell… well, we’ll get to him later.

KINI ZAMORA

Photos: Lifetime

Talk about SMORF. This was about as underwhelming as possible. A cute enough dress, but there’s very little design to it at all, and it’s not remotely memorable.

KORINA EMMERICH

Photos: Lifetime

I was calling Korina “Jessa from Girls” before she even said she was from Brooklyn. She may have spent half the episode shit-talking everyone with Mitchell, but at least she ended up creating something decent. This had its execution issues, but it stood out from the rest of the pack. The color is fantastic, and Korina shows a strong point of view.

KRISTINE GUICO

Photos: Lifetime

I could not pick Kristine out of a line-up if my life depended on it. And her design was equally unmemorable.

MITCHELL PERRY
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

There’s always an impossibly immature starved-for-attention camera whore that stands out for sheer annoying-ness from the moment the season begins, and this year, it’s Mitchell. I was sick of him by the first commercial break, and his design was a complete joke. Maybe if he had spent less time judging every contestant in the room, and finishing early to get more camera time help his competitors, he could have actually designed something more than bike shorts and a tee shirt that looks glued together. But of course, he’s an obnoxious personality and that equals ratings, so the producers let him live to see another week. Sigh.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA

Photos: Lifetime

This was actually a very chic and stylish look, but rendering it in all black made it impossible to see the details. And particularly in the first episode, those details need to be visible on-screen in order to have a real impact.

SANDHYA GARG
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

This was a controversial look for sure – Sandhya’s competitors were stunned that she won, and so was plenty of the Twitterverse – but I loved it. It wasn’t the best-executed piece on the runway, but it was by far the most creative, and the only one that wouldn’t look out of place in a real fashion show. During her process, I thought Sandhya was extremely talented with textiles, but not necessarily capable of creating a beautiful garment. She proved me wrong. This look wasn’t for everyone, but it made a fucking statement. And I love to see a designer make a statement with their fashion designs, rather than with their nonstop soundbites.

SEAN KELLY

Photos: Lifetime

Sean talked up this look like it was the most creative, innovative thing on the planet, so of course it was a bit of a disappointment. Sorry, Sean, but I’m pretty sure every other designer in Brooklyn is also making this dress. It’s not particularly bad, but the back isn’t very flattering.

Judges’ Top 3: Sandhya, Amanda, Char
Diva’s Top 3: Sandhya, Char, Fäde
Judges’ Bottom 3: Angela, Jefferson, Mitchell
Diva’s Bottom 3: Jefferson, Hernan, Mitchell

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Dust off your crack pipes, dear readers. It’s Runway time. 

Previously: We met more designers than any of us can possibly remember.

The Challenge: The designers attend a “private movie screening” in a beautiful theater, where an extremely cheesy trailer about fashion plays before the film cuts to Tim. That is apparently the entire “movie.” Tim announces the unconventional challenge – the designers must create looks using the movie and movie experience items as materials. This includes everything from props and costumes (seemingly limited to feather boas) to tickets and 3D glasses. Then Tim walks into the theater to continue describing the challenge – why they were watching him on screen when he was actually in the room the whole time is beyond me, but whatevs. The designers are split into five teams of three to create a cohesive three-look mini-collection… in one day. The worst part is, there will be a winning team and losing team, which always guarantees that someone terrible will be in the top, and someone great will be in the bottom.

Guest Judge: Fashion blogger Garance Doré. Honestly, I spent so much of this episode angry at Heidi, Nina, and Zac that I don’t really remember anything about Garance as a judge. Let’s assume she was fine.

Silver Team: Korina, Kristine, Amanda (winning team)

AMANDA VALENTINE
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

It looks better in photographs than it did on TV, but this was one of my least favorite looks. I was shocked that this team was awarded the top spot – it seemed entirely contrived to give Amanda as much screen time and attention as humanly possible. For someone who couldn’t stop bragging about her team making their own textiles, she really only made half a textile. The top half is cool, but the rest of the shit attached to that plain white underlay looks absolutely terrible. It just seems apparent that she only finished about 1/3 of what she attempted to do. This reminded me of my least favorite dress in recent red carpet history – the Prada disaster Lupita Nyong’o wore to this year’s Met Gala. I know the judges feel the need to over-praise contestants they bring back from prior seasons, to justify bringing them back at all, but this entire judging session was just a crack-induced nightmare.

KORINA EMMERICH
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was a little cheesy and tacky for me, but it was easily the chicest entry from this team. I’m not going to stop calling Korina “Jessa” anytime soon, but she’s definitely one of the designers to watch this season.

KRISTINE GUICO
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

I really did not enjoy this look. I thought the bodice was ugly, I thought the letters were hideous, and I thought the silhouette was way too simple. I’m impressed that Kristine and her teammates were able to create cohesive looks in such a short amount of time, but I still can’t comprehend how this team ended up on the top when I was sure they were on the bottom.

Green Team: Emily, Alexander, Samantha

ALEXANDER KNOX

Photos: Lifetime

The Green Team certainly should have been contenders for the top spot. Their looks were cohesive, fascinating, fashionable, and just the right amount of weird. Alexander’s entry is dramatic and runway-ready. You can feel the spirit of the challenge in it, and it looks like something that’s fun to wear.

EMILY PAYNE

Photos: Lifetime

This had its execution problems, but at least the idea was there. The skirts made of cascading rolls of film really brought this mini-collection together, but this was a little too sloppy.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA

Photos: Lifetime

It’s not the most impressive look in photos, but this was by far my favorite thing on the runway. It moved so elegantly and looked impossibly cool. Maybe I’m biased because Samantha and I share a first name, but she’s another designer I’m keeping an eye on. I think she’s got some serious potential.

Red Team: Hernan, Sandhya, Carrie (losing team)

CARRIE SLEUTSKAYA
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

I feel just terrible for Carrie, another victim of this show’s crack-induced bullshit. Since Sandhya made a controversial garment that won last week, and then cried to Tim over how mean her teammates were this week, her team obviously had to be at the bottom for maximum drama. (While I like Sandhya, I think she overreacted to the criticisms her teammates gave her, and I do not at all agree that they were “picking on her,” as she claimed.) The judges desperately wanted to have a “first to worst” story, and punish Sandhya’s team for not working well together. But since Sandhya had immunity, this meant that Hernan or Carrie had to be sacrificed at the altar of contrivance.

It was entirely unfair, and I was very proud of Carrie and Hernan for standing up for themselves and basically calling the judges out on their bullshit. The judges were more callous and rude in this episode than ever before, and fought with the contestants just for answering their questions honestly. It was bad enough that they manipulated the show to create these results; things got worse when the contestants started to fight back, the judges reacted like bitchy little children. So goodbye to Carrie, who was one of the more talented designers of the group and did not at all deserve to be eliminated for a totally decent dress.

HERNAN LANDER
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

All my Carrie comments also apply to Hernan. His dress had a little more going on, which ended up saving his ass, but none of these people deserved to be in the bottom.

SANDHYA GARG
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was not nearly as bad as the judges made it out to be. And since when is being too cohesive a problem on this show? Yes, I did notice that all these dresses looked too much alike, and I agree that that was a flaw. But was it a worse problem than the other hot messes walking down this runway? Not even close. And honestly, this dress is pretty cool and wearable.

Purple Team: Mitchell, Kini, Char

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

The Purple Team did a fantastic job. They took themselves so much less seriously than the rest of the teams, and their looks were incredibly fun as a result. I cannot believe that Char was able to weave all these tickets into a textile in one day. The embellishments are funky and fashionable, and helped Char solidify herself as the early fan favorite. I think that having a sense of humor about yourself and your design is the most important part of the unconventional challenge, and in that regard, this team killed it.

KINI ZAMORA

Photos: Lifetime

The weakest of the three, and not particularly memorable, but it’s still chic and well-made and fun as hell.

MITCHELL PERRY

Photos: Lifetime

Apparently, when Mitchell stops being a mean girl and shuts his mouth and gets to work, he can create some really terrific shit. I thought this crushed-CD dress was FANTASTIC. Yes, the silhouette is incredibly simple, but I think that enhances the crazy light-catching textured print. A more complex design would have made this go way over-the-top. I’m still not sure I actually like Mitchell, but he certainly was the most improved since the first challenge.

Blue Team: Sean, Angela, Fade

ANGELA SUM

Photos: Lifetime

EVERYONE LEAVE ANGELA ALONE. Even though her team was in the middle, Heidi felt the (totally unnecessary) need to single Angela out and tell her that her design was so shitty, it almost brought her entire team from the top spot into the bottom spot. That just felt so needlessly mean-spirited, especially since the point of being in the middle of the pack is that Heidi & Co. don’t get to say mean (or nice) shit to you. This was not my favorite look on the runway, but it was miles better than the crap the judges gave the win to, so there was really no reason to single out Angela for random Heidi hatred. It still feels like everyone on this show is trying to break this woman, and I absolutely hate that. Everyone please stop picking on this nervous computer engineer-turned-designer. She so clearly means well, and she’s not even close to being the worst designer in the competition. Stay strong, honey. I’m on your side.

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photos: Lifetime

A little weird, but in a good way, no? The bodice had an armor-like superhero vibe that I dug, and the fringe at the bottom looks effortlessly cool. I think it’s the black-and-white portion in the middle that didn’t really come together for me. Still, a strong look overall.

SEAN KELLY

Photos: Lifetime

Sean kept bragging about how you couldn’t tell this dress was made of straws, but I’m not really sure that’s true. This just seemed heavy and unpleasant, and not nearly as innovative as an unconventional materials look should be.

Judges’ Top 3: Amanda, Korina, Kristine
Diva’s Top 3: Samantha, Mitchell, Char
Judges’ Bottom 3: Sandhya, Hernan, Carrie
Diva’s Bottom 3: Sean, Amanda, Kristine

Next time: The contestants reveal their sure-to-be-terrifying thoughts on futuristic fashion in S13 E03 – Past, Present, and Future.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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On this apocalyptic episode of Project Runway, the designers show us the future, and it is TERRIFYING.

Previously: The judges smoked cracked before crowning Amanda the winner of the unconventional challenge.

The Challenge: For the 20th anniversary of Marie Claire, the designers must use inspiration from 1994 to create a magazine-worthy look for the year 2034. Isn’t it adorable that Nina thinks print magazines will still exist in twenty years? Anyway, in one day, the contestants must show an editorial version of the future of fashion, filtered through their own aesthetic, while staring at pictures of themselves twenty years ago. Some were babies! Some were not! Hijinks ensued! Anyway, I found it quite refreshing to see the designers sketching out their ideas, instead of having to awkwardly sell us HP tablets.

Guest Judge: Marie Claire‘s Anne Fulenwider and British photographer Amanda de Cadenet, who was basically there just to promote her own Lifetime show. Also, was it just me, or was she only British at the ends of her sentences?

ALEXANDER KNOX
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

Poor Alexander. He’s a sweetheart, but he ran into a lot of trouble this episode, and he should have gone home for sending this down the runway. But I absolutely hated the criticisms the judges gave him. They criticized it for being too sad, as if we’re all supposed to believe that twenty years from now, everything will be happy as can be, when basically the world is currently falling apart. Yes, this is a sad dress, but that wasn’t the problem here. The problem was that it was shapeless, and very poorly made, and clearly thrown together at the last minute after his previous look didn’t work. The problem was that it didn’t have a strong point of view. But I guess helpful, constructive critiques that an extremely young designer could actually use don’t allow Heidi, Zac, and Nina to say the word “sad” eight thousand times while pulling faces. So yes, I believe Alexander should have been eliminated for this. But the judges (sans Tim, mentor extraordinaire) should have been eliminated for their obnoxiously limited view of the future of fashion, and for their refusal to give criticisms that could actually help a 22-year-old become a better designer.

AMANDA VALENTINE

Photos: Lifetime

Heidi is apparently making a habit of telling someone in the “safe” pile how terrible they are every week, and it’s not enjoyable to watch. I’ve never liked Amanda, and even I don’t want to watch Heidi tell her how shitty she is when she’s not in the top or bottom three. But Amanda was insane to talk back to the judges about how three of the models wanted to wear the pants she designed. First of all, the models are not judges, so their opinions are irrelevant for these purposes. Second, even if their opinions were relevant, maybe everyone wanting to wear your pants that are supposed to be for 20 years in the future isn’t actually a good thing. Maybe by nature of designing something for the future, she should not have created something everyone wants to wear today. Third, and most importantly, SHE KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN. While in the workroom, Amanda acknowledged aloud the ridiculousness of creating a very 1970s bellbottom pant for a 1994/2034-inspired challenge. She knew that it didn’t fit the challenge, and she did it anyway, because designers get to do things like that when they have immunity. But to talk back to the judges about how EVERYONE ELSE loves your pant, when you know you didn’t bother to play by the rules? Ugh. That’s just obnoxious.

ANGELA SUM
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

I don’t think Angela deserved to go home quite yet, but I must say, I’m relieved her time on this show is over. Not because I don’t like her as a person, but because the editing of this show was trying SO HARD to depict her as the biggest emotional wreck imaginable. They put a clip of her crying no less than ten seconds into the episode – that in particular felt sloppy and manipulative. Yes, she’s clearly a sensitive and nervous person, more so than her competitors. But the producers seemed like they actively wanted her to break, and I found that made for very unpleasant television.

That being said, this look had a lot of problems. Angela was trying to make a futuristic suit, but I don’t want to live in a future where successful women have to wear skirts too short to sit in to work. It’s not even about appropriateness – it’s about comfort. And the top of this does look a bit like Judy Jetson dressed up as a flight attendant – though I’m not actually sure that’s a terrible thing, given the challenge. But the sewing on that skirt was quite terrible, with its bubble butt and puckering seams. At least you could see an idea here, whereas Alexander’s dress lacked even that, in my opinion. So although this look was definitely in my bottom three, I still don’t think I would have sent Angela home.

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

I enjoyed this look, but I think Char could have pushed herself creatively just a little bit more. This looks five years into the future, if that; twenty, not so much. I do like the colorblocking on the pant; it’s a forward-thinking technique. But this look needed more of that to really make it futuristic.

EMILY PAYNE
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

For a little while, this was my favorite look on the runway. But after some thought, I realized that was only because Emily’s model is by far the fiercest woman on the runway. This girl can WALK, and she sold the living shit out of this look. When she took off Emily’s “Ewok” cowl-neck shrug-thing and revealed the jumpsuit underneath, it was a total wow moment. But I have to agree with Nina – we’ve seen this jumpsuit before. It’s not futuristic. It might even be a few seasons old. I think Emily is creative and this was a strong look, but she better hold onto this model as long as possible, because she’s at least half the reason Emily was in the top three.

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photos: Lifetime

Don’t get me wrong – as a blogger, AKA a person who wishes she never had to put real pants on, I would love to live in a future where we all wear pajamas all the time. But even with the mixed-prints, I’m not sure there was enough creativity here to make up for the incredibly basic silhouette of the top and pants.

HERNAN LANDER

Photos: Lifetime

In Hernan’s vision of the future, women wear “Sexy Witch” Halloween costumes as real clothes! And I think to myself, what a horrible world. Hernan got very lucky that this somehow escaped the judges’ attention, because it was a mess. The straps in the back were well-executed, but that was the only thing I liked about this look.

KINI ZAMORA

Photos: Lifetime

I don’t think this is particularly futuristic, but I am amazed that Kini made those pants in one day. That bodes incredibly well for his future on this show. Most designers can barely make pants in a two-day challenge, and he churned out this fabulous pair of jeans like it was no big thing. Everything else was SMORF (Standard Middle-Of-the-Road Fare), made payable to the judging gods for ignoring unremarkable looks because they’re too busy critiquing the hot messes.

KORINA EMMERICH

Photos: Lifetime

I completely forgot about this look between last night and today, but lord, do I hate this. Korina’s model looks like Kristen Stewart in a hurricane, and that’s not a good look on anybody. Sadly, the fact that she actually designed anything at all means that she escaped being in the bottom three, since not every contestant really managed to do that. I might hate this, but at least I feel anything at all about it, unlike some outfits (sorry, Alexander, sweetheart).

KRISTINE GUICO
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Way to go, Kristine! That coat and its cut-out sleeves were absolutely magnificent. It looked killer on the model and fit like a dream. But while the sheer separates were really interesting and funky from the front, the execution in the back left a lot to be desired. If the back of the outfit looked as good as the front, this could have snagged the win.

MITCHELL PERRY

Photos: Lifetime

It could’ve been a fantastic look if the stripes actually lined up properly, and if the pants fit a little bit better. As is, this deserved to be in the safe pile, though it will be quite useful when Mitchell’s home state of Florida is underwater.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA

Photos: Lifetime

I would wear this outfit in a heartbeat, which means it’s probably not futuristic enough. Perfect for my dream wardrobe, but only okay for this challenge. Regardless, Samantha is one of the few designers that I’m excited to see more from, so that’s something. Apparently, the future is full of cowl necks and infinity scarves, so let’s hope climate change brings some global cooling instead of warming.

SANDHYA GARG
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

This was incredibly weird, and completely unwearable by most modern women’s standards. But… isn’t that what makes it perfect for this challenge? I mean, why is it that no one except Sandhya even thought to do futuristic makeup? It seemed so obvious once Sandhya did it – what could turn everyday pieces into 2034 editorial looks faster than futuristic styling? It’s not like the Aldo accessory wall is going to be too helpful in that department, so why did every other model on the runway sport hair and makeup relevant to the 20teens instead of the 2030s? The fact that Sandhya actually thinks about these things says a lot about her as a designer.

I understand why people don’t like Sandhya. Her unconventional aesthetic is absolutely not for everyone, and I hate that they gave her two wins in three challenges when there’s so many other people who haven’t been recognized for their talents yet. But nothing on the runway came close to fitting the challenge as much as this dress did. And for that, I’d have given her the win too.

SEAN KELLY
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

I adore Sean, but I’ll admit this was a bit of a disaster. It lacked imagination and creativity. Also, what, one unconventional challenge and the guy thinks he can create a hat out of a Mood shopping bag for no apparent reason? Sorry, honey, but that was the mopiest little hat in the world. And not in a cool, post-apocalyptic way.

Judges’ Top 3: Sandhya, Kristine, Emily
Diva’s Top 3: Sandhya, Kristine, Emily
Judges’ Bottom 3: Sean, Alexander, Angela
Diva’s Bottom 3: Sean, Angela, Alexander

Next time: The designers repurpose men’s suits for womenswear, which actually sounds pretty fucking fabulous, in S13 E04 – Remixing an American Classic.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s SUPER-VAGINA! 

Previously: The designers’ visions of the future left us praying that time stands still.

The Challenge: The contestants are whisked off to Red Robin, where a gaggle of male models are wearing suits from different eras and holding fast food and cocktails. The designers will each be assigned a different suit to use as inspiration and primary materials. They have one day to create a high-fashion womenswear look with the mens’ jacket and pants as a prominent part of their design. Can anyone explain to me what this challenge actually has to do with Red Robin? No? Okay then. And was there a reason Sandhya got to choose everyone’s suit for them, other than to make the other designers hate her even more than they already do? Also no? Great. Glad we’re all on the same page.

Most of the suits aren’t too bad to work with, but of course, there’s two or three in weird, difficult materials. Wouldn’t this be a better competition if they all had to work with corduroy or leisure suits? It just seems unfair, not to mention tailor-made to cause interpersonal drama instead of interesting fashion. And the rule about the menswear pieces being “prominently displayed” in the final design was completely thrown out the window so that the judges could award Amanda yet another undeserved win. Why bother making restrictions on the challenge if you’re not even going to enforce them? Sigh. At least Nina said the word “vagina” a few times. That was fun.

Guest Judge: Bethany Mota, who is apparently a fashion vlogger? Come on, show, bring on a guest judge who has more to say than “I love this! It’s FIERCE!” Or, if you’re going to choose a random-ass fashion blogger, CHOOSE ME. I’m short and vaguely annoying just like Bethany, except I have a more extensive vocabulary.

ALEXANDER KNOX
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Cute and chic, and it looks like something Emmy Rossum or Lily Collins would wear on the red carpet. Not the most innovative or original thing on earth, but the crop top is on trend and the skirt is very pretty. It wasn’t really good enough for the top three, but of course the judges wanted to have a bottom-to-top story for him. He used the word “redemption” twice this episode – that was a little heavy-handed even for Project Runway. They’re not even trying anymore.

AMANDA VALENTINE
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

This looked way better on the runway than it did approximately ten minutes earlier in the workroom, but it is a bag of bullshit that Amanda snagged the win AGAIN. How many half-dresses covered in fringe are they going to hand her the win for? I agree with the judges that the way the fringe was crossed and layered in the front was interesting, but the fringe in the back was a mess. I’m shocked the model wasn’t tripping all over it. This was a perfectly fine if slightly craftsy dress that belonged nowhere near the top three.

More importantly, I don’t think this completely met the requirements of the challenge. That reddish printed fabric is the suit jacket, and she covered up almost all of it. That was smart from a design perspective, because it wasn’t a very modern print, but I don’t think this was a “prominent” use of the original suit by any stretch of the imagination. Of course, when the judges want to justify their decision to bring back one of the least memorable designers in the show’s history, they have to give her the win for every average hippie-dippy dress she sends down the runway. Giving two different designers two wins in the first four episodes of the season is INSANE. We’ve barely learned the names of half the other designers, while Amanda and Sandhya never seem to leave our screens. It’s exhausting.

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

The slit in that skirt is way too short, and the bottom of this look generally lacked creativity. But I like the sculptured top and the surprising backless effect. I’d love to see Char get some recognition for her skills, but this wasn’t one of her better looks. I’m hoping she’ll be back on her game next week.

EMILY PAYNE

Photos: Lifetime

I’m still not really sure what this is. I definitely like the back of the tartan girdle-skirt-pants hybrid, because the buttons and pockets are adorable. But that shrug top looks very awkward from the back, and that folded-over velvet portion of the bottom is also extremely confusing. I think Emily just tried to do a few too many things in this outfit, and suffered for it. I probably would have put her in the top three if she had streamlined this to something a little more understandable.

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photos: Lifetime

The fabrics look a little bit dreary in pictures, but this was one of my favorite things on the runway. I think Fäde was one of the only designers who really understood and followed the challenge. He mixed prints and fabrics like a power-clashing champ, but the result was deceptively simple. The draping of that sort of poncho-esque crop top is brilliant, the sleeves are cool, and his model looked stylish and powerful. Definitely worthy of my top three.

HERNAN LANDER
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

Hernan did not stop bitching and moaning from the first moment of the episode that he couldn’t get inspired by his hideous suit. Come on, buddy. It’s fabric. It’s not even the worst fabric of the group. Consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to make a dress out of potatoes. He kvetched about Sandhya picking on him, and how she’s different off-camera, and she’s threatened by him, and all of this just made him seem like a big baby. He also called her a bitch during the runway show – he might have meant it as a joke, but it didn’t sound like one, and Sandhya hissed, “Don’t ever speak to me like that again.” Drama like this is boring to me, but respect to Sandhya for standing up for herself, because Hernan was completely out of line. (If that’s even what happened. The editing here was a little bit suspicious.)

Maybe if Hernan had spent a bit less time blaming Sandhya for his problems, he would have had time to make an actual garment. Tim told him early on that the vinyl was not even remotely working because Hernan was trying to drape it like fabric, which it is not. But Hernan never did anything about this completely glaring problem, and barely got this thing on the model in time for the runway show. His dress was so full of pins, his model was BLEEDING PROFUSELY from it, and he had to cut the hem with a pair of scissors at the last moment. THEN he straight-up lied to the judges about how his positively ancient fabric was literally falling apart when he tried to touch it. Did he really think he was going to get away with that bullshit? Did he really not know that the judges actually inspect the garments up-close? Even if this dress hadn’t been awful – and it was – he should have gone home just for that stupidity.

Nina thought the giant V on the dress made the model look like a “vagina superhero,” which was a hilarious comment, but I disagree. A vagina superhero sounds AWESOME, and this dress was anything but awesome.

KINI ZAMORA
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Kini finished his look hours early and spent the rest of the episode lounging around and making everyone hate him for having so much extra time. I am blown away by his construction and his speed – this is absolutely impeccably tailored. But I won’t pretend this is even remotely original. It’s Cushnie et Ochs-meets-David Koma, with a sprinkle of McQueen. There’s not an original thought to be found here. But it was sexy, chic, appropriate for the challenge, and stupendously crafted. That was enough to earn it a spot in my top three.

KORINA EMMERICH

Photos: Lifetime

Jessa was insufferable this episode, whining about how she and Kristine were both making motorcycle jackets, but not doing anything to actually differentiate hers from Kristine’s. This looks dated, unoriginal, and not particularly well-fit. But there were more noticeable disasters on the runway, so she lives to see another day.

KRISTINE GUICO
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

Yes, the velour pants look terrible, but Kristine got a shitty fabric and actually tried to make the most of it instead of bitching about how terrible it was. She didn’t try to hide the fabric beneath twenty pounds of fringe, and I think that was brave. Of course, those pants are hideously unflattering, and the organza at the bottom doesn’t make any sense, but at least the girl made an attempt at originality and tried to fit the constraints of the challenge.

MITCHELL PERRY

Photos: Lifetime

Mitchell’s response to his leisure suit was “HAAATE IT, HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT,” and I admit, I almost laughed. He actually did get one of the two worst suits to work with, so I understand his frustration a bit more than Hernan’s, but everyone was being such a brat about their IMPOSSIBLE TO WORK WITH suits instead of just hunkering down and making it work.

Alexander mentioned that Mitchell’s dressed looked like he shoved his leisure suit into a Ziplock bag, and he was not wrong. It looks awful, and the bubbly-ness on the sides is making me cringe. I haven’t seen anything from Mitchell so far that actually convinces me he has good taste. Nina’s going to bite him in the ass for that soon.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA

Photos: Lifetime

From afar, this is just a good look, but up-close, this was by far my favorite thing on the runway. Samantha desperately needs to learn that all-black detailing does not pop enough on television, but the detailing on this was extraordinary. The pleating, the pockets, the safety pins, the asymmetry – it’s interesting and innovative and all-around badass. I can’t believe we had to sit through a discussion of what a genius Amanda is when Samantha still hasn’t gotten her moment in the spotlight.

SANDHYA GARG

Photos: Lifetime

The front of the top is funky, trendy, and wearable. Even the mustache printed on it is kind of hipster-chic. But the mustaches in back, which look like they’re silk-screened onto giant black band-aids, are way too much. And this skirt looks like a crafts project gone wrong. Sandhya’s look stood out from the crowd because it was colorful, but she was also the only designer who had bright colors in the suit she was working from. Because she was the only one who got to choose her suit. So she doesn’t get extra points for her use of color when no one else even had the opportunity to do the same.

SEAN KELLY
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was terrible. Sean was the sole designer working with corduroy, which handicapped him a bit, but still, this was a nightmare. When the judges called him out on how shabby this looked, he explained that it was intentional. Their responding, “NO SHIT, WE WEREN’T BORN YESTERDAY” was kind of hilarious. Yes, Sean, darling, we know you made this deconstructed on purpose. IT STILL LOOKS LIKE SHIT. The horizontal strips of fabric don’t go all the way around the skirt – they’re tacked together on the sides by some extra vertical stripes, making it look like he made this skirt three sizes too small and it was too late to start over again.He should thank his lucky stars that Hernan got caught lying to the judges, otherwise Sean’s awful look paired with his back-talk to the judges would have sent him home for sure.

Judges’ Top 3: Amanda, Kini, Alexander
Diva’s Top 3: Samantha, Fäde, Kini
Judges’ Bottom 3: Kristine, Sean, Hernan
Diva’s Bottom 3: Mitchell, Sean, Hernan

Next time: The designers have to create a presumably short/tight/shiny red carpet look for Heidi in the oh-so-brilliantly-named S13 E05 – Dress Heidi.

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It’s time to dress Heidi. And you know what that means – the Hot Mess Express is leaving the station. 

Previously: The designers ate french fries and complained about suits.

The Challenge: Can anyone take an episode seriously that begins with an extraordinarily staged scene of paparazzi swarming Heidi Klum? How about when the first words the Klum of Doom utters in the episode are, “You are probably wondering why I am wearing a trench coat today”? Or when the show’s editors felt the need to add MAGIC SPARKLES SHOOTING OUT OF HEIDI’S FINGERTIPS when she waved her hands in the air? Oh, and I almost forgot the THUNDER SOUND EFFECTS that played after her bitchy one-liners. This show has gone completely off the rails. Anyway, the already-spoiled-by-last-week’s-Creative-Arts-Emmys-red-carpet challenge was to… CREATE A RED CARPET LOOK FOR HEIDI TO WEAR TO THE CREATIVE ARTS EMMYS! Now it’s time to pretend that Heidi actually has good taste in fashion, which is kind of like pretending that Creative Arts Emmys are the actual Emmys.

The designers had a budget of $250 and one day to create something “fearless, fashion-forward, and unexpected” for the Klum. Everyone forgot to mention the trifecta of short/tight/shiny, because we’re all supposed to pretend Heidi Klum is the definition of class and high tastes. Luckily, the producers felt bad for the designers (or more accurately, Heidi didn’t want to wear any of the fabrics the designers picked out), so they had the option to go to Mood again and spend an additional $100. While the second chance at fabric helped a few designers, another day in the workroom would have helped a bit more. I know I say this every episode, but the red carpet challenge in particular should NEVER be a one-day challenge. As Zac Posen said during the runway show in a moment of truly idiotic hypocrisy, a red carpet look takes TIME. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that this runway was mostly one disaster after another.

Guest Judge: Lindsay Vonn. Who is awesome, and was a better-than-average judge, but someone with a little more red carpet experience would have made a bit more sense.

ALEXANDER KNOX

Photos: Lifetime

The shape is awkward, and doesn’t look like anything Heidi would wear, even if she actually had good taste. It says a lot about how terrible the rest of the looks were that the model’s bare ass was showing on the runway and Alexander STILL didn’t make the bottom three.

AMANDA VALENTINE
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Overpraised bullshit, yet again. The top looks craftsy, like student work, and the back is odd, ill-fitting, and unflattering. I don’t know how many more times I can express shock and anger and dismay at the sheer volume of crack these judges must be ingesting in order to keep putting Amanda in the top three.

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

She looks like she’s tangled in some really beautiful bedsheets. Char made this in just a few hours, having completely nixed her previous look and fabric after her meeting with Heidi. It’s not particularly innovative or well-made, but the former was pretty much nonexistent in this episode, and the latter was nearly impossible in a single day.

EMILY PAYNE

Photos: Lifetime

This is terrible, and also kind of Heidi-appropriate, but mostly terrible. At least she attempted some sort of idea, with the tuxedo lapel situation. But Emily was also a complete idiot in this episode, complaining about the unfairness of some of the designers getting to go back to Mood. Lady, YOU COULD HAVE GONE TO MOOD TOO. You decided you needed the extra sewing time more than the extra fabric. The competition’s rules didn’t screw you over – you did that all by yourself. Now be a grown-up and deal with your decision.

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photos: Lifetime

It’s so depressing that we’re still supposed to pretend Fäde isn’t the best designer here. Because he’s a quiet, nondramatic person who hunkers down and does his work, he doesn’t give enough commercial-friendly sound-bites for his designs to ever reach the top three. It’s bullshit, and I’m tired of it, because this was by far and away the best thing on this runway. Judges, Fäde isn’t just there so Heidi can have little jokes with him in German about hunters. Give him some recognition before Amanda’s head gets so big that she actually explodes.

KINI ZAMORA
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Don’t brag about finishing your design hours early if you don’t have much of a design to begin with. This probably would have made it into my top three by default, because it’s marginally well-constructed, and that was much more than most of the designers were able to do in the time given. But there’s not a whole lot of original thought happening here, and that seems to be a recurring problem with Kini’s designs.

KORINA EMMERICH
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

Korina Jessa should have been the second designer to go home instead of Kristine. She chose a sad dark green color that Heidi expressed undying hatred for, and then went to Mood and purchased ANOTHER SAD DARK GREEN COLOR. I just don’t even understand how even her sleep-addled, stressed-out brain could have thought that was a reasonable thing to do. Since she started over after the second trip to Mood, she had no time left for construction, and… it showed. Good god. The back of this gown is one of the worst things I’ve seen in this show’s 8,000 seasons.

KRISTINE GUICO
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

Yeah, this was bad, but it wasn’t that far off the mark from what Heidi would wear, and at least it showed a modicum of creativity. For me, that should have been enough to save Kristine and send Jessa home instead.

MITCHELL PERRY
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

Mitchell never quite managed to prove he actually has good taste (which you’d think would make him perfect for the Dress Heidi challenge), but at least he provided us with the phrase “hot mess express,” which I will be using from now until forever.  This… I don’t even know what I’m looking at. How did he manage to fit so many problems into one dress? Seriously, it should take more than one day to make THIS MANY mistakes. And if midway through your design process, you have to say to yourself out loud, “She’s totally not a hooker,” well, that pretty much says it all.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA

Photos: Lifetime

NO MORE BLACK. Samantha, you are officially barred from using black fabric. I know the judges haven’t bothered to put you in the top three or bottom three, but surely SOMEONE must have told you by now that all-black looks are barely visible on television, and this is much more of a TV show than it is a fashion competition. I really think my name twin has potential, but she’s not going to get a chance to display that if she keeps hiding her designs in black fabric.

SANDHYA GARG

Photos: Lifetime

There’s a reason Sandhya’s gown looks four times as expensive as everyone else’s, and that’s because it is. You see, the producers left a little loophole in the rules – designers who didn’t elect to return to Mood could give their extra $100 to another designer. So Sandhya, entrepreneurial mind that she is, went to each of the four designers who stayed in the workroom and asked for their money. And ended up spending $450 on her second trip to Mood.

Jessa thought this was incredibly unfair, but I’m on board with Char’s reaction to Sandhya’s behavior: “How can you be mad at her for that? Go girl.” It’s not like any of the other designers even bothered to ask for the extra $100 from Kini, Emily, Amanda, and Sean (at least in the way this episode was edited). Sandhya didn’t stop anyone else from getting money – she just took advantage of everyone else’s stupidity, which is well within the rules of the competition.  Of course, she also gave her competitors yet another reason to hate her, so I’m thinking the episode where every single person on the runway points to her as the person they’d eliminate is not too far away.

Oh, right, the dress – it’s a beautiful, expensive-looking fabric, but she didn’t do much with it. Again, a vast achievement considering she was one of the many designers to basically start from scratch after the second Mood trip, but still not particularly imaginative.

SEAN KELLY
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

It’s bright, it doesn’t look like everything else on the runway, and it’s got some movement. I understand why this won, even though I’d have chosen Fäde’s for the top spot. But maybe that’s just because I already blogged about this dress last week, when Heidi wore it, which I still think is a scheduling fuck-up that someone must have gotten fired for. My main problem with this was that the judges kept calling it ombre, which it really isn’t. Fäde’s gown was ombre. This is blue fringe on top of black fringe. But that was the least crack-induced remark of the episode, so I suppose I’ll have to let it go.

Judges’ Top 3: Sean, Kini, Amanda
Diva’s Top 3: Fäde, Sean, Kini
Judges’ Bottom 3: Korina, Kristine & Mitchell
Diva’s Top 3: Kristine, Korina & Mitchell

Next time: The designers create wedding dresses and hilarity is sure to ensure in S13 E06 – It’s a Nice Day for a Rock Wedding.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Well, at least this episode had Dita Von Teese. That’s something! 

Previously: We were forced to pretend Heidi had good taste, and the editors went completely apeshit with special effects.

The Challenge: In teams of two, the designers had one day to create an unconventional wedding dress, and a companion look for the same woman to wear to her wedding reception. The only thing more unreasonable than expecting the designers to create a red-carpet-ready gown in a single day (like they did in the last episode) is expecting them to create a WEDDING gown in a single day. No wonder everything on the runway was a mess – the producers once again refused to give the designers even a fraction of the time necessary to complete this challenge in a remotely fashionable way. Does anyone else remember a time when one-day challenges were at least somewhat of a rarity? Enough that Heidi had to say “and designers… this is a ONE-DAY challenge,” and everyone would moan and groan and panic? At some point, one-day challenges became the rule rather than the exception, and I just can’t stand it.

Guest Judges: Fabulous burlesque performer and fashion icon Dita Von Teese, who was refreshingly candid and cool, and fashion blogger Chiara Ferragni.

Alexander & Samantha

ALEXANDER KNOX
Bottom 4

Photos: Lifetime

It looks better in pictures than it did on the runway. The darker-than-red skirt and the yellower-than-white embellishments make this dress look old. Not old-fashioned old, but literally decomposing in someone’s attic old. It’s a bit on the depressing side, and it’s nothing we haven’t seen before, but again, let’s blame the producers for their absurd time constraints instead of the designers. It’s just so much more fun.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA
Bottom 4

Photos: Lifetime

Not remotely interesting, but at least it’s not black! This felt more like a cheap knock-off of a designer dress than anything else.

Team Amanda & Korina

AMANDA VALENTINE

Photos: Lifetime

Was the manufactured drama between Amanda and Korina completely exhausting, or what? Off-screen, Korina allegedly called Amanda a phony, and then they had an awkwardly-edited conversation that was supposedly about that, but really seemed to be about something else entirely. Who gives a shit? Both of these women are boring, and Amanda’s “I can’t believe everyone thinks I’m a phony!” felt, well, phony. But hey, the dress is actually cute. It’s more teenage pop star than nontraditional rock wedding, but at least it’s chic and wearable. God knows not everyone else achieved that.

KORINA EMMERICH

Photos: Lifetime

I’ve had more than enough of Jessa’s mean girl attitude, but honestly, I don’t hate this. Yes, the pants are too tight, because Amanda apparently didn’t think to get this model’s measurements before sewing these pants for Korina. But I think it fit the challenge moderately well, and it was at least kind of interesting. Almost. A little bit.

Team Emily & Fäde

EMILY PAYNE
Top 4

Photos: Lifetime

Emily and Fäde were only sort of in the top – Heidi seemed to enjoy their looks, but no one else did. I absolutely adore Dita for calling this look out for what it is – a cliché parody of a goth wedding. She actually seemed personally offended by this dress, and I found that kind of hilarious and endearing. This woman wed Marilyn Manson – if anyone has a right to be offended by silly, witchy knock-offs of goth-couture, it’s Dita Von Teese. I personally didn’t hate this look, but I can see why Dita did.

FÄDE ZU GRAU
Top 4

Photos: Lifetime

The judges liked Fäde’s look marginally more than Emily’s, but it still didn’t get quite as much love as I think it deserved. Again, it might not be special enough for a wedding, but it’s a killer cocktail dress, with lace and hand-painting and asymmetry and that general city-girl cool vibe that all Fäde’s looks seem to contain.

Team Kini & Sean

KINI ZAMORA
Top 4

Photos: Lifetime

Kini’s ego is going to get the better of him soon, right? He went from sweet and adorable, to a little too braggy about how quickly he sews, to stubbornly insisting to the camera that he was ROBBED because he didn’t win this challenge. Yes, he can sew at a speed that boggles the mind. But I don’t think he’s one of the better designers of the group, and I think he really lacks originality. If the judges had given the contestants two days instead of one, Kini’s speed would have mattered less, and I don’t think the design of his garment would have lived up to the rest. This dress would have snagged the win from me simply by default, but only because nothing else managed to be well-executed and vaguely challenge-appropriate. It looks like something Dita would wear, but only because it also looks like a Zac Posen rip-off.

SEAN KELLY
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

The top moved beautifully, but the pants are incredibly awkward. And there was no reason to give Sean the win for this, other than to continue this season’s completely insufferable trend of giving out multiple wins so that some designers can become more hated by their competitors.

Team Sandhya & Char

SANDHYA GARG
Bottom 4

Photos: Lifetime

This was clearly the bottom team from the start of the episode. They chose a bad color, and just made more and more terrible decisions after that. I was shocked by how poorly executed this dress was. When Heidi lifted up the model’s skirt, it was tucked and pinned and just generally a disaster under there. Sandhya at least attempted to do something interesting with the bodice – sure, it came out looking pretty awful, but that attempt alone was enough to save her from elimination.

CHAR GLOVER
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

And it’s goodbye to Char, who was the only designer whose personality I actually liked from the beginning. I’m sad to see her go, because I think she’s one of the only designers of the last few seasons who’s actually enjoyable to watch. I actually got misty-eyed when Tim said goodbye to her – and it’s been years and years since that’s happened for me on this show – but I can’t disagree with this elimination. This really did look like little more than scraps.

Judges’ Top 4: Sean, Kini, Fäde, Emily
Diva’s Top 4: Kini, Fäde, Sean, Amanda
Judges’ Bottom 4: Alexander, Samantha, Sandhya, Char
Diva’s Bottom 4: Alexander, Samantha, Sandhya, Char

Next time: The designers get inspired by crazy-expensive jewels and probably still don’t have enough time to make anything decent in S13 E07 – Chopard.

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Diamonds! Tears! Even more Germans! Are you ready for the runway, dear readers? 

Previously: No one had time to make anything remotely resembling a wedding dress, but Dita Von Teese was cool.

The Challenge: The episode begins with everyone talking about how much they love Char, which makes me happy. The designers are apparently not such soundbite-zombies that they don’t know an awesome, funny lady when they see one. But for some reason, the producers found it more dramatic to wait until after the challenge was assigned and have Tim cry in the workroom about how he cannot live with himself unless he brings Char back. (You know, instead of bringing her back at the beginning of the episode, like a normal thing.) I love Char and I’m glad she’s back, but please, no more of Tim Gunn’s Time-Filling Tears. And she should have been allowed to choose from the full array of jewelry like everyone else, dammit!

Anyway, the designers must choose a piece of ridiculously expensive Chopard jewelry and design an extravagant evening wear look worthy of a gala to show it off. (In one day. Don’t get me started.) Oh, and they take a field trip to the Charles James exhibit at the Met for extra fabness and inspiration. (Charles James was a master couturier and not, as Amanda said, “kind of punk rock.” He made extravagant ball gowns, for God’s sake. They were innovative and intricate and fascinating, but they were not “punk rock.” Does Amanda’s brother pay her royalties for every time she mentions rock music on this show, or something? Because it happens too often. )

Guest Judge: Caroline Scheufele, artistic director of Chopard, who was German and fabulous.

ALEXANDER KNOX
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

The execution on this thing was a mess, especially up close, but at least the front of it photographs phenomenally well. Sure, it’s a Vivienne Westwood knockoff, and the judges couldn’t see the necklace well enough from their vantage point, but Alexander came up with a mildly interesting, challenge-appropriate design. Almost no one else did. So, sure, his was held together with pins, spit, and a prayer, but it could have been worse, and too many of them were. The judges were all, “We can’t believe how amazing all your looks are!” I don’t know what show they were watching, but the best that can be said about this runway show is that there was no accidental nudity. Nowadays, that’s enough to make the judges fall all over themselves.

AMANDA VALENTINE
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was needlessly weird, completely ugly, and had fuck-all to do with the challenge. I don’t know how many times I can give you all the same Amanda rant, so I’ll just roll my eyes and move on.

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

Char desperately needed to be safe this episode, and so she created something safe. It might not have made for a great runway look, but it was probably the smartest thing she could have done for herself in the competition. The ruffles were nice, and I liked the cut-out, but the length was a real issue. That fabric hitting at the upper ankle instead of grazing the floor – it just cheapened this dress so much. Had she crafted this in a more interesting fabric – maybe a metallic or something with a little texture – and fixed the length, it could have been a top 3 entry.

EMILY PAYNE

Photos: Lifetime

I think this is fascinating from the back and underwhelming from the front. The bodice just sort of hung there and wasn’t fitted well to the model’s body, but I am kind of obsessed with the vaguely sapphic draping in the back. That shit is gorgeous. But as the judges said, so much of this challenge is about fabric choice. And this fabric, like many others on the runway, just didn’t look expensive enough. Not for the jewelry, and not for a gala.

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photos: Lifetime

The silhouette is fabulous from the front, although I hate the draping and pinning in the back. And again, these fabrics read as sportswear, not luxe evening wear.

KINI ZAMORA
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

An ordinary and vaguely tacky design, executed terribly. And I’d be thrilled if I never heard the sound of Kini’s voice again. I don’t actually think Kini is that obsessed with himself, I think he just believes that acting like self-involved bitch will get him on camera more. And clearly – sadly – he’s right. But this dress was a full-on disaster. He’s lucky Sam didn’t design anything at all.

KORINA EMMERICH
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

This was the only thing I really wanted to put in the top three. This was weird and dark and surprising, but still fit the challenge flawlessly. This coat is a work of art, her fabric choice was brilliant, the pockets are divine – I didn’t really know how talented Korina was until this challenge. Way to go, Jessa.

SAMANTHA PLASENCIA
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

After way more than thirteen seasons of this show (including All Stars), I have absolutely zero patience for hipsters declaring, “I’ve never made a gown before.” I totally believe that it’s outside Sam’s wheelhouse to make a gown. But once you find out you’re going to be on Project Runway, and therefore know that at LEAST one challenge this season will straight-up require you to make a gown, YOU MAKE A FUCKING GOWN. Just for practice. Just so you don’t have to lose your gown virginity on four hours of sleep, in one day, surrounded by sociopaths. And for a first gown, this wasn’t actually that terrible. But she didn’t design much at all, and she didn’t make up for it with fabulous fabric choice or killer execution. So sad as I am to see her go, she did deserve the auf.

SANDHYA GARG

Photos: Lifetime

I am seriously in love with this dress. I’d love to see it on any starlet at a movie premiere, or hanging in my closet just waiting for a good enough excuse to be worn. But it has nothing to do with this challenge. At all. I really tried to stick to looks that actually worked for the challenge to fill my top three, but to be honest, this was the only thing I liked other than Korina and Sean’s looks. So it slid into my top three just because I want to wear it, and you, dear readers, will just have to deal with it.

SEAN KELLY
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Ugh, I hated the way the model posed to show off that ring. Honey, we’ll see that rock from a thousand miles away – you really don’t need to keep your index finger pointed for the entire runway walk. Anyway, this was a good dress, but not the most interesting thing on earth. The velvet trim at the bottom was romantic and sweet, and it definitely fit the constraints of the challenge, but it just didn’t have the element of surprise that Korina’s had.

Next time: The special effects team really goes apeshit and the designers go avant garde in S13 E08 – Rainway.

Judges’ Top 3: Korina, Sean, Amanda
Diva’s Top 3: Korina, Sean, Sandhya
Judges’ Bottom 3: Kini, Alexander, Samantha
Diva’s Bottom 3: Amanda, Kini, Samantha

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Because nothing says “avant-garde” like shilling Samsung televisions.

Previously: The designers were not allowed to breathe the same air as the Chopard jewels that served as their inspiration and their models’ accessories.

The Challenge: Create an avant-garde look inspired by corporate sponsor Samsung, because, you know, that’s not a complete oxy moron, or anything. Oh, and it has to walk down a runway in the midst of a torrential downpour. Dear producers: stop trying to make “rainway” happen. It’s not going to happen. I guess I should just be happy the designers actually had two days for this challenge, and shut the hell up. (Though is it just me, or did we see no extra time in the workroom, just footage of the designers being forced to bond with each other over alcohol? Is that really the magic of the two-day challenge – extra drinking time? Not, like, the ability to create garments that require any sort of thought or innovation?)

Guest Judge: Caitlin Fitzgerald from Masters of Sex. I can’t remember a single thing she said, but let’s go ahead and assume she was a fine judge.

ALEXANDER KNOX

Photos: Lifetime

It’s a raincoat with stuff all over it, on top of a black catsuit. Whatever. It’s fine. It didn’t look “experimental” so much as “the first idea that popped into Alexander’s head,” but I didn’t hate it. I just didn’t think it really made a statement. And while this came out better in photographs than I expected, you could hardly see the outfits on television because of the ridiculously obnoxious laser lights they were flashing all over the place.

AMANDA VALENTINE

Photos: Lifetime

I absolutely loathed this on television, but I don’t think it’s nearly as bad in pictures. In fact, it almost looks cool. It was, however, literally falling apart on the runway, which you can see in the back. But before Amanda changed the layout of those weird shapes, it did spur Tim Gunn to say the immortal words, “This is nothing if not the season of the vagina.” I want that quote on the back cover of my memoirs.

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

Why did half the designers pair a black catsuit with their looks? I get that they wanted them covered up from the rain, but that superhero look got tired REAL quick. This looks more like a homemade dinosaur costume than anything else. And too many designers on this show hear “avant-garde” and go immediately to “asymmetrical with 3D shapes coming out of the shoulder.” Just because it worked for Christian Siriano and Chris March does NOT mean it will work for you.

EMILY PAYNE
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

It’s kind of boring, which is the one thing avant-garde should never be. Her idea of experimentation was an accentuated bust and hip line, which actually just served to collect rainwater and didn’t look all that creative. I like the shoulders, and pretty much nothing else. Half the looks on this runway were clear knock-offs, and this was no exception, but Emily’s was more boring and less functional than the rest.

FÄDE ZU GRAU
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

I am full-on in love with this darling little dress, and would wear the absolute shit out of it. But that’s kind of the problem – I could totally see myself in this look, and I do not, as a rule, run around in avant-garde fashion, because I am not a megalomaniacal pop sensation. So although I feel that Fäde never got his due from the judges, and was never recognized for how great a designer he is, I can’t really argue with this elimination. This look was a lot of great things, but avant-garde wasn’t one of them.

KINI ZAMORA
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

Kini got thrown a pity win, because it was “his time,” or some bullshit like that. I loved the idea of turning an umbrella into a skirt, but the resulting look was just such an obvious McQueen rip-off that it feels disingenuous to give him the win. Copying someone else’s avant-garde work is not avant-garde. Otherwise, this was powerful and dramatic and by far the best use of the inexplicably ubiquitous catsuit. But the hat should have been way more gigantic and dramatic, and I wish it had looked a little less like a condom.

KORINA EMMERICH
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

I really hated this look. It required the bare minimum of creativity, which should have left Korina plenty of time to execute it perfectly. Except that it looks like torn-up duct tape. Again, I understand why Fäde was eliminated, but I would have given Korina the auf. And not just because I’ve never liked her, while I’ve liked Fäde since I stopped letting his name bother me.

SANDHYA GARG
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was craftsy and cheap-looking, and that was a real disappointment. If anyone should have nailed this challenge, it was Sandhya. I don’t particularly like anything about this, but it didn’t feature a catsuit, and therefore, it makes it into my top three by default. How sad.

SEAN KELLY
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

It was a shocking moment when Sean’s model hit the runway in the least avant-garde look imaginable. But when her darling white dress started to transform into that watercolor rainbow once the water hit it – WOW. A show-stopping moment if there ever was one. And there was something McQueen-esque about his idea to transform the dress onstage, almost as performance art (I urge you to watch this incredible spray-paint show of Alexander McQueen’s from 1999, as it will blow your fucking mind). But it wasn’t a knock-off; it was an inspiration. No one took a bigger risk on this runway than Sean – he really had no clue whether the dyes would actually work – and the fact that the bottom layer of the skirt is waterproof lining to prevent the model’s legs from turning red and orange? Absolutely brilliant. Well done, Sean.

Judges’ Top 3: Sean and Kini, Sandhya
Diva’s Top 3: Sean, Kini, Sandhya
Judges’ Bottom 3: Korina, Emily, Fäde
Diva’s Bottom 3: Fäde, Emily, Korina

Next time: All my childhood dreams of owning a Samantha doll will finally come true in S13 E09 – The History of the American Girl. 

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Lip Smackers pouches! Casual racism! Butt-snaps for tweens! Welcome to the Runway, bitches. 

Previously: The judges tried (and failed) to make “rainway” happen. 

The Challenge: The designers are sent to the American Girl doll store, and I am jealous because I always wanted a Samantha doll but they were too expensive. Instead I had an awesome computer game where you could stage little plays with the American Girls and record voices for them. (I may or may not have staged mini-musicals and recorded myself singing all of the harmonies.) But still, as a girl named Samantha, ALL I WANTED WAS THAT DOLL. One of her accessories was this big trunk that hung up all her beautiful little clothes and it was the greatest thing in the world. Okay, I swear, I’m done reminiscing.

Anyway, a gaggle of children come in to introduce their dolls, whose outfits they match. Each designer is paired with a little girl and her doll, and are tasked with creating a modern, fashionable look for the girl, inspired by her American Girl doll. There are fabrics from the dolls’ outfits provided, but the designers don’t have to use them. (But the person who does will definitely win, because that’s how these sponsorship challenges work.)

Guest Judge: Elisabeth Moss, who was an exceptionally awesome judge/human being, and Heather Northrop of American Girl.

ALEXANDER KNOX

Photos: Lifetime

What is even happening around that girl’s hips? Did Alexander forget that pre-tweens don’t have curves, and then have to fill the extra fabric with cotton balls or something? Is it a storage area for her Lip Smackers? (Actually, that wouldn’t be a terrible idea, assuming little girls today are as obsessed with Lip Smackers as they were in the mid-90s.) Anyway, the top is cute, but I just can’t ignore the bulge around this poor girl’s hips.

AMANDA VALENTINE

Photos: Lifetime

Of course, the one time I actually like something Amanda creates, it doesn’t make the top three. But she can send a fringed shower curtain down the runway and it’ll win endless praise from the judges. I thought this was stylish without being too grown-up for the girl, and that little pop of the jacket’s print reflected in this dress was simply genius. I wouldn’t have worn these patterns together, but they looked completely believable on this ridiculously adorable little girl. But can we call bullshit on the casual racism of Project Runway pairing the dolls of color with the little girls of color? I’m a white girl, but I wanted an Addy doll almost as badly as a Samantha doll, and my favorite Dear America books were the ones about black southern girls during and after the Civil War. Let’s not promote the idea that black dolls are for black girls and white dolls are for white girls. I thought the whole point of American Girl was to teach children that little girls come from all different backgrounds, not that you’re only allowed to play with the doll that looks like you.

CHAR GLOVER
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

I’m not one for fringe, but it would have been difficult to make a Native American Girl doll outfit without it. And I ADORE the shape Char gave to the fringe in the back – it really sold me on the outfit as a whole. And the dress underneath it is graphic, fun, and wearable. Char’s clothes tend to feel a little junior, so I had a feeling that her naturally youthful aesthetic would help her out in this challenge, and it absolutely did. This matched the story of the doll while still looking like something a cool little girl would want to wear.

EMILY PAYNE
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

That birdcage veil has to be considered child abuse. And I don’t care how much time you spent hand-sewing that entire jacket – it looks like something an old lady would wear. This is fussy and awkward and vaguely costume-y. But this little girl was the FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLD. She did not stop fidgeting during the entire post-runway-show discussions. Girlfriend had NO patience for this bullshit. And I loved it.

KINI ZAMORA
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

This was very good, but it won because it’s pretty much an exact copy of what the Samantha doll would wear, not because it had anything to do with what today’s little girls would wear. I know Samantha is a Victorian-era rich girl, but this wasn’t a “create a dress for Samantha” challenge. It was supposed to be something a real little girl could actually wear today, and this just felt way too Chanel for that. Once again, Kini showed that he has speed and construction skills for days, but his design skills are really lacking, and he doesn’t seem to have an original thought in his head. Elisabeth Moss wanting to wear your dress is very nice, but not actually a good thing for this challenge, since she is not a ten-year-old girl. Again, it was a more than solid entry, but when something this predictable takes the win, I just get exhausted.

KORINA EMMERICH
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Korina spent the first half of the episode being like, I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN A CHILD BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT A CHILD IS. Like so much else on this show, it was exhausting and stupid. Everyone on earth seemed completely obsessed with this look, but honestly, I’m not that impressed. I do like the pops of yellow underneath some of the flaps, but the back of this look was a bit of a nightmare. Totally and very obviously unfinished, and there’s shirt fabric popping out from under the waistband. Also, while I’m sure Jessa would wear the shit out of this hat, I think it’s pretty fucking stupid.

SANDHYA GARG
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

This jumpsuit has snap closures over the butt. It has SNAPS. Over the BUTT. You know, like you’d put on a baby in diapers. And there are SO MANY OTHER THINGS WRONG WITH THIS. Sandhya designed an outfit too immature for a toddler, and insisted that this was exactly what she envisioned and thinks tween girls would want to wear. But the little peplum flappy ruffles are hideous, the sleeves are an embarrassment, the top doesn’t even come close to fitting her, AND IT HAD SNAPS OVER THE BUTT. Yes, I know I already said that like eleven times, but I still can’t even believe Sandhya thought that was a good idea. I don’t care how over-tired or emotionally drained or sick of being edited to look like the season’s villain you are. Every idea she had was a truly, truly terrible one, so I’m not remotely sad to see her go. She impressed me a few times earlier in the season, but honestly, the way the show portrayed her was so uncomfortable and horrible to watch that I can’t even pretend I’ll miss her. And those butt-snaps alone were worthy of the auf.

SEAN KELLY
Bottom 3

Sean should thank his lucky stars that Sandhya’s brain went to butt-snaps, because this was atrocious. Dreary, boring, and HE CAN’T EVEN MAKE A PEACE SIGN PROPERLY. Get your shit together, Sean. Don’t rely on your earlier wins to carry you through the rest of the season.

Judges’ Top 3: Kini, Char, Korina
Diva’s Top 3: Char, Kini, Amanda
Judges’ Bottom 3: Sean, Emily, Sandhya
Diva’s Bottom 3: Emily, Sean, Sandhya

Next time: The designers have to convince total strangers to undergo makeovers, which sounds awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, in S13 E10 – Find Your Muse. 

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In which the designers attempt to give strangers makeovers, but mostly end up making them look way worse. 

Previously: We waxed nostalgic over the American Girl dolls, and Sandhya’s toddler terror design got her the auf.

The Challenge: The designers must find a previously-screened and producer-approved thin woman stranger in Washington Square Park and convince her to be their client/muse/model/makeover victim. In two days, the contestants must make these ladies over (though half of them looked better before they ever met these designers), and the winning look and model will be featured in a Mary Kay ad in Marie Claire. 

Guest Judges: Model Ashe Leland and actress Michelle Monaghan.

ALEXANDER KNOX
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

Farewell, Alexander. This was one in a long line of unfortunate looks from him, and it felt like his time to go. This was awkward, lumpy, and sad, and there wasn’t much in the way of design to begin with. She looks like Taylor Swift with manic depression. The only positive thing I can say about it is that Alexander’s original design – which Tim Gunn was not about to let walk down the runway – was much, much worse.

AMANDA VALENTINE
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was a crime against Amanda’s beautiful model. She looked virtually flawless when we met her, but Amanda made her a terribly-fit dress that did not even remotely consider the model’s body. She is NOT a big girl, but Amanda made that hemline hit at the least-flattering point on the model’s thigh. The dress is boring, the print doesn’t line up – even after Tim lectured her about it – and, in the immortal words of Regina George, that vest was disgusting.

CHAR GLOVER
Bottom 3

Photos: Lifetime

Char forgot this wasn’t the American Girl doll challenge, I guess. Or she’s been driven crazy by lack of sleep. Because I cannot understand how she thought she could put a grown-ass woman in this outfit. And she basically got a second Tim Gunn save in this episode when, two minutes before Tim called time, her model was naked from a zipper fiasco. I completely understand not wanting this woman to have to expose herself on the runway – she’s not a model and didn’t sign up for that – but Tim’s solution to the problem was INSANE. Instead of giving everyone ten extra minutes to work on their designs, Tim asked the designers (on camera and in front of the clients) if they minded giving Char – and only Char – an extra ten minutes. They agreed, because they couldn’t very well say no with every eye on them, and then spent the rest of the episode bitching about it. And although it’s not at all Char’s fault – they should have directed their bitchiness towards Tim and the producers, not her – it was total bullshit. Tim used to be the one we could count on to call out these contrived shenanigans, but they’ve pulled him over to the dark side. It makes me so sad.

EMILY PAYNE
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

This was ChaCha DeGregorio levels of flamenca craziness, but it actually suited the client perfectly. It wouldn’t have worked for almost any other woman, in any other context, but a European ballerina could definitely wear this to a gallery opening and fit right in.

KINI ZAMORA
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Cheap mall clothes. It’s fine, but it’s not a makeover. She looks like someone who can’t let go of the fact that the 80s are over. It’s exhausting that we still have to pretend that because Kini sews quickly, that means he’s a good designer.

KORINA EMMERICH
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

I barely remember this outfit, but I’d probably award it the win as well, if only because there was really not much happening on this runway. This was the only woman who looked like she actually underwent a makeover, but most of the credit for that goes to the hair stylist. The jacket is cool, and that’s about it.

SEAN KELLY

Photos: Lifetime

I was basically yelling at my screen, “No, Tim! Don’t tell Sean you can’t see his aesthetic in it! He’ll just add fringe!” AND THEN HE DID. He also made his model look twenty years older than she actually is. This poor girl is 24, but you’d never know it from that matronly hair and makeup. Sadly, I’d still have to stick this in my top three just because I can’t accept Kini’s denim-on-denim in that spot.

Judges’ Top 3: Korina, Emily, Kini
Diva’s Top 3: Korina, Emily, Sean
Judges’ Bottom 3: Amanda, Char, Alexander
Diva’s Bottom 3: Amanda, Char, Alexander

Next time: The designer who says “Lexus” the most times wins in S13 E11 – Lexus Lux.

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Project Runway: now with even more temper tantrums and producer-contrived drama! 

Previously: Makeovers were attempted. They were not successful.

The Challenge: The designers are shipped off to the Brooklyn Navy yard and paired up in teams of two. There are five storage units, and the teams have two days to make two cohesive looks made from materials found in the storage units. For some reason, we have to watch them bid on the storage units, which all contain different random-ass materials. But they don’t even get to keep everything in there – they have to physically take out of the units whatever they want to bring back to the workroom. Wait, then what was the point of using storage units to begin with? And what sorry, underpaid PA has to pack all this shit back up to take it back to the workroom? Oh, and then halfway through the challenge, they find out they have to make a third look, mostly out of Mood fabrics. Because there was almost a chance they would have had enough time to actually make something decent, so the producers felt the need to crap all over that.

Guest Judge: The wonderful Christian Siriano. Remember, from back when this show was good? I love that they introduced him as “designer Christian Siriano” instead of “Project Runway winner Christian Siriano.” A+ for Christian, for not letting them remind the world that he used to be on this show. It took him forever to be taken seriously by the fashion world because he was tainted by reality TV, and I’m thrilled that he’s finally getting the success he deserves. (See, dear readers? Sometimes I like the guest judges! They just need to stop asking non-designer reality stars and C-list actresses to judge.)

Team Amanda & Kini

AMANDA VALENTINE
Top 2

Photos: Lifetime

Christian rightfully pointed out that whatever you might think of this outfit, this is what young starlets want to wear. This could have been plucked right out of the closet of Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, or Emma Roberts. (Or at least out of their stylists’ closets.) Kini and Amanda made a strong team, and their work was far better than what the other teams managed to tack together. It wasn’t flawless, but they deserved their top spot.

KINI ZAMORA
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

I agree with Nina that this jacket would have looked infinitely better on Amanda’s look. But the soccer ball dress was a brilliant idea. This was the only team who really utilized the unconventional materials the way the judges wanted them to – by making them wearable, without making them look like fabric. No lampshade skirts that are impossible to walk in, and no upholstery fabrics that look like upholstery fabrics. Kini won for really paying attention to the transformation from unconventional materials to fashion, and I can’t argue with that.

AMANDA and KINI

Photos: Lifetime

I thought Amanda was fucking nuts when she wanted to use that yeti painting in their design, but you know what? She REALLY made it look like fashion. This was incredible. Weird yet tasteful, unconventional but wearable. This was some of the best work we’ve seen so far this season. (Not that that’s saying much, but at least it’s something.)

Team Sean & Char

SEAN KELLY

Photos: Lifetime

The coat is fine. It’s not the greatest thing in the world, and I hate that you can see her hands poking through. Are those sheer pockets? Why? And Sean and Char should have known better than to use a done-to-death trend like sheer panelling and expect Nina’s head not to explode. Don’t get me wrong – Nina had her claws out and her fangs sharpened during this judging panel. She was ROUGH on these designers. But she wasn’t wrong to call Sean and Char out on their lack of innovation.

CHAR GLOVER
Bottom 2

Photos: Lifetime

I don’t hate this, but there’s not a whole lot of design going on. It’s not as distractingly ugly as Korina and Emily’s collection, but it’s safe, basic department store clothes, and I just can’t get excited about that. (And don’t worry, I’ll get to the Korina vs. Char showdown at the end of the post.)

SEAN and CHAR

Photos: Lifetime

You don’t get points for using unconventional materials in a way that makes it impossible for your model to move. The pop of blue in back (which was Char’s idea) really saved this look, because everything else about it was either played-out or restricted the model’s movement to one-inch shuffle-steps.

Team Emily & Korina

EMILY PAYNE

Photos: Lifetime

I thought this was terrible. I don’t know why this team chose to pair eight million different textiles together, but the result is ugly and overworked. I also don’t give a damn about their bullshit story that this woman is like, living in a very fashionable tundra, or whatever post hoc justification they invented to explain all these hideous layers. This was marginally better than Korina’s, but only because it lacked the hat and cape.

KORINA EMMERICH
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

Korina should have been eliminated for her attitude problem alone. There are a few hard-and-fast rules that apply to every single reality competition. The first one is, DON’T PISS OFF THE JUDGES. Don’t talk back. Don’t interrupt them. Don’t refuse to accept their constructive criticisms. These people aren’t reality TV judges because they’re actually the best in their fields – they’re judges because they want to constantly be told that they’re actually the best in their fields. Feed into their massive egos, or don’t bother auditioning. This is reality television, and you can either play the game or go the fuck home.

Yes, the judges were bitchy and borderline racist to call Korina out for going back to the southwestern well too many times. Um, do they even remember the season that they crowned Gretchen the winner? But Korina was an idiot to call them out on that insanity. If you want to make it to the finals, your job is to nod and smile, no matter what horseshit the judges throw at you.

Attitude issues aside, this cape is the ugliest effing thing I’ve ever seen. Korina’s biggest problem has always been that she chooses truly terrible fabrics. They’re always hideous, too difficult to work with in a short amount of time, or both. That problem was more of an issue here than ever before, and I’m not sorry to see her designs or her personality go.

EMILY and KORINA

Photos: Lifetime

Whatever, judges – I love this sweater. I thought this was the only look of their mini-collection that had even a chance of being worn by an actual human being. Don’t get me wrong – there’s not much design involved in a draped sweater and a pair of leggings, but at least I understood what Korina and Emily were trying to do here and who they were trying to design for. The same cannot be said for their prior two looks.

Char vs. Korina Showdown

CHAR GLOVER
Bottom 2

Photos: Lifetime

The bottom two designers were pitted against each other and forced to make a look – any look – in a single hour. This was clearly strategically planned to make Korina’s overly-inflated head explode, and it worked. Char’s dress wasn’t innovative or particularly modern. But Char knew she had only an hour, and planned accordingly. She didn’t bite off more than she could chew, and she knew that what would matter here was not construction or even design, but color and general vibe. She picked a fantastic color, and made (with some serious help from Sean, without whom she probably couldn’t have achieved much) a dress with attitude. Korina picked shitty fabrics (like always), and channeled all of her anger into an uninspired dress.

KORINA EMMERICH
Eliminated

Photos: Lifetime

Listen, I understand where Korina is coming from. The Tim Gunn save has been used only to protect darling personalities instead of strong designers, and that extra ten minutes just for Char last week was a big bag of bullshit. But the fact that this is a highly manipulative, increasingly contrived reality TV show is NOT CHAR’S FAULT. Korina spent the entire episode shit-talking the only contestant whom I’ve liked since day one, because Char refused to stoop to the level of constant bitchy sound-bites required by this show. Korina was definitely not going to win any points for that, nor for basically telling the judges that she doesn’t give a fuck what they think because she knows she’s better than Char.

To Char’s credit, she kept a professional demeanor and a smile on her face during the world’s most uncomfortable judging session. She let Korina roll her eyes, laugh, interrupt Heidi, and throw a temper tantrum. And when Char burst into tears the moment she got back to the designers’ lounge and just started scream-sobbing, “That was horrible,” that was the most raw and real moment this show has had in years. I got a little teary at that, and I stopped having emotions about any of these people sometime around Season 7. When Korina came back in and basically yelled at Char for already having gotten eliminated, Char still didn’t stoop to her level and wouldn’t allow herself to be blamed for Korina’s own mistakes. Of course, as soon as Tim came back into the room, Korina was all, “this is not about you, Char, please stop,” to make it sound like Char was the one being unreasonable, when actually Korina was just being a sociopath.

All of this was already more drama than I could stomach, but when the scenes from next week showed them bringing back eliminated designers are sewing assistants, AND Korina getting paired with Char, AND Korina (after agreeing to do this) yelling about how this is wrong and storming off the set… Let’s just say I have never been less excited for an episode of television, ever. Expect my next recap to have an ungodly amount of capslock and swearing.

Judges’ Top 2: Kini and Amanda
Diva’s Top 2: Kini and Amanda
Judges’ Bottom 2: Char and Korina
Diva’s Bottom 2: Emily and Korina

Next time: Contrived, producer-manipulated bullshit will make all of our heads explode in S13 E12 – Fashion Week: Who’s In and Who’s Out.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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It’s the last challenge before the finale, and I am underwhelmed. 

Previously: Korina was a judgmental brat, even by reality TV standards.

The Challenge: Tim drags the designers out of their beds and up to the roof, where a Lexus marketing exec tells them they’ll be getting inspiration from the streets of New York while being driven around in Lexuses. It sounds kind of difficult to stop and take pictures of things from a moving vehicle, but I guess bullshit sponsorships are more important than challenges that actually make sense. Anyway, the designers have two days to create a street style look. Then, of course, Tim introduces the twist: they have to make a second look, completely unrelated to street style, out of a bunch of previously-eliminated looks. After they choose outfits from the button bag, those eliminated designers come in and are – surprise! – paired with the people recreating their eliminated looks to be their bitches sewing assistants. Of course, this results in Korina having to work on the garment she was eliminated for YESTERDAY… with Char.

Now, although I found Korina’s behavior in the last episode disgusting, she actually stepped up and did the right thing (after a lot of eye-rolling, grimacing, and crossed-arms). She admitted that she was too emotional from yesterday’s elimination to be able to give Char the kind of help that was required, and asked to leave. That’s a lot better than staying and sabotaging Char. And since the producers apparently had Alexander ready to pop out of a closet in case this happened, Char actually got the help she needed from someone who didn’t try to throw her under a bus the day before. Of course, the editing was uber-dramatic, and we were forced to watch Korina take off her microphone, pick up her purse, and make her way through the labyrinthian set to leave. Because that’s what happens when these episodes are 90 minutes long.

Guest Judge: Shay Mitchell from Pretty Little Liars, because apparently that counts as a celebrity? You’d think that for a street style challenge, they could have gotten a popular street style blogger or a Miranda Kerr type starlet, but the days of getting even B-list guest judges seem to be far behind us.

AMANDA VALENTINE
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Overall, this was a pretty awful runway show. Part of that is the producers’ fault – it’s much more interesting to watch two designs that are actually related to each other walk down the runway consecutively, and two days to make two garments that are wow-able and pre-finale-worthy is just a joke. But, let’s be honest, this isn’t the greatest batch of designers this show has ever seen. Or if it is, the show hasn’t given them the ability to show what they can really do. Either way, this made for a confusing snoozefest of a runway show.

That being said, Amanda’s look was my favorite. It’s a look that’s all about the movement, so I don’t like it nearly as much in photos as I did on television. But it was creative and interesting and looked like something a Brooklyn street style blogger would wear.

Photos: Lifetime

Amanda remade Fäde’s eliminated look from Episode 8. I can’t get too worked up about it, but I thought it was at least a little bit cool, if not particularly innovative or well-made. The most bullshit part of this challenge was how late in the game they introduced the twist. When you give the designers two days for the last challenge before the finale, they’re going to plan on doing something innovative or complicated or time-consuming. That’s a GOOD thing – that’s what results in something that maybe, in some universe, could actually be on a real runway. But once the twist was introduced, if the designers wanted their first look to be even remotely decent, they basically were forced to ignore the second look completely. That’s why none of the designers showed two looks that were both actually successful, and it’s the producers who are to blame for that.

CHAR GLOVER
Bottom 2

Photos: Lifetime

Char is an adorable, warm, funny person who I have enjoyed watching this season. But she’s not a very talented designer. She makes clothes that can already been found in most malls in America, and that’s not a terrible thing, but it means she shouldn’t make it to the finale of a show called Project Runway, no matter how far from grace the program has fallen. As Tom and Lorenzo said, getting the Tim Gunn Save essentially means you have immunity for the rest of the season. And that’s bullshit, particularly when Tim doles out the Save based on personality instead of skill. This was the better of Char’s two looks, but it wasn’t good. I’d have eliminated her for this.

Photos: Lifetime

The only crime worse than making a basic black dress for the pre-finale runway show is making one as ill-constructed as this. This just had all kinds of unfortunate, unflattering, unintentional draping over the tummy. And nothing about it was interesting.

EMILY PAYNE
Eliminated

The judges have had it out for Emily since the beginning, but not for the right reasons. Her idea of alternative fashion has often been presented as pretty dated, but the judges seem to hate her for being “sad” or “dark.” Because in their crack-induced views, only happy fashion is allowed! Anyway, I don’t think this hoodie was as “mega” as Emily thought it was, but I think the face-print on that shirt is unbelievably cool. I actually gasped when I saw it in the workroom. It was a little pajama-esque, sure, but don’t pretend that hasn’t been a trend over the last couple of years. Again, I don’t love it, but it was a hell of a lot more innovative than Char’s work.

Photos: Lifetime

The judges were right – you can’t see Emily’s point of view anywhere in this remake of Samantha’s Episode 7 gown. But you couldn’t see Char’s point of view in her second look either, and that was a way hotter mess than this.

KINI ZAMORA
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

Tim was spot-on when he asked Kini, “Can’t you just go to Michael Kors and buy this coat already?” Yes, and about a billion other high fashion shops, because Michael Kors is not as original as this show wants us to believe. The completely unoriginal trench coat was the only thing about this look that even remotely worked. The blouse and skirt underneath it are terrible. Unflattering, awkward, and overworked.

Photos: Lifetime

This is a really nice gown. I’m not such a bitch that I won’t admit that Kini made Mitchell’s Episode 5 gown look of a hell of a lot better. But I just hate that Kini’s speed-sewing alone is enough to get him to the finale, when he’s never showed anything original, and most of his garments are overworked as hell.

SEAN KELLY
Top 3

Photos: Lifetime

I honestly didn’t understand this look, or why it led to Sean being called a “genius.” I actually don’t think the judges were wrong when they said this could be on a Paris runway, but wasn’t this a street style challenge? And more specifically, a New York City street style challenge? This read about as far from street style as possible to me. An all-white look with a skirt that goes below the knees is going to get filthy if worn on the streets of New York. And it really bothered me that no one mentioned that, because all the finalists were pre-selected ages ago, so we just have to pretend that they’re all perfect. Don’t get me wrong – I think the clinical sharpness of this look was interesting, even if I didn’t think it was nearly as impressive as the judges. But it had fuck-all to do with the challenge.

Photos: Lifetime

This was terrible, and you can only tell Sean’s work is Sean’s when he puts eleven thousand pounds of fringe on it. That’s a bad sign. I know Sandhya’s Episode 9 look left him only small bits of horrific pink fabric to work with, but still. We really didn’t need to end up HERE.

Judges’ Top 3: Kini, Sean, Amanda
Diva’s Top 3: Amanda, Sean, Kini
Judges’ Bottom 2: Char, Emily
Diva’s Bottom 2: Emily, Char

Next time: The designers go to Rome – ROME! – so I can’t even be mad that Lifetime is still stretching the finale into two 90-minute episodes in S13 E13 – Finale Part 1.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Yawn. 

Previously: We had a disappointing street style challenge that should have ended in Char’s elimination, but didn’t.

The Challenge: Tim takes the finalists on a whirlwind trip to Rome, which would be a lot more fun if they weren’t also forced to use Rome as their inspiration. Not that Rome doesn’t have plenty to be inspired by, but I thought the whole point of the Fashion Week collections was that the designers FINALLY got to choose their own inspiration. The “working under arbitrarily-imposed design/style restrictions” thing is supposed to be for the challenges, not the final collections. But I digress. Anyway, Tim visits everyone in their hometowns as per usual (with bonus making-weird-noises-while-learning-to-hula), and the designers reconvene in NYC for a last-minute three-look preview with the judges. And by “preview,” I of course mean “the ability for the judges to influence the designers heavily enough so that whomever they have already cast as the winner actually ends up winning.” (See also: the season of Anya.)

AMANDA VALENTINE

Photos: Lifetime

Amanda’s was my favorite of the four mini-collections, but I won’t pretend that’s much of an achievement. The standards for being the best are just about as low as they’ve ever been on this show. This looked alright on television, but it doesn’t photograph particularly well. And I think the colorblocking over the tummy is pretty unflattering.

Photos: Lifetime

Better, but not by much. I’ll admit it, I very much like this textile, but she didn’t use it to its full potential. I like the plunging neckline, but the strangely wide center-slit looks terrible. It’s got a street-style chicness to it that I appreciate, but overall, it’s only okay.

Photos: Lifetime

I liked the movement involved in this one, and that it felt very “Amanda” without seeming like a total rehash of something she’s already done. (But we’ll get to Sean in a bit.) The jewelry that she designed is exceptionally cool and will probably be the reason they give her the win. Which is disappointing, because her clothes shouldn’t need to be literally covered in accessories in order to make a statement, but I can’t expect much more from Project Runway anymore. Anyway, kudos to Amanda, and thumbs down to Project Runway, because the only thing more disappointing than Amanda being the clear favorite from the beginning is that she ended up being my favorite too. Not because she’s that good, but because there are no other options available.

CHAR GLOVER

Photos: Lifetime

I didn’t hate this. It’s not for me, but I could see the cool young pop star who would wear this on the red carpet. But the styling is all off – I just don’t think the girl who wears this also wears professional, slicked-back buns, at least not WITH this outfit. If anything, she wears her professional, slicked-back bun to the office job that she definitely doesn’t have, and then lets her hair down to party in this romper.

Photos: Lifetime

Terrible. Atrocious. Disturbing that she believed even for a second that this Steve Urkel pencil skirt was New York Fashion Week-ready.

Photos: Lifetime

This was probably my favorite piece that we saw during the episode. If Char’s entire collection could be as sporty-chic, laid-back, and fabulous as this, she could easily win this whole thing. Sadly, Char’s biggest problem is that she’s wildly inconsistent. Her three looks had virtually no cohesion, and I don’t expect that her full collection will have much more of it. This awesome, funky shrug-dress-thing represents the best of Char’s aesthetic – but the styling is still out of touch, and I have no faith that anything else in her collection will match this level of excellence.

KINI ZAMORA

Photos: Lifetime

Kini’s mini-collection was by far the worst of the group. He proved once and for all that his skills are all speed and no design. That white top might be salvageable, but literally every other piece in his three looks have no place on a runway. I have never understood his obsession with denim, or why he thinks he’s the first person in the history of the world to try and make denim be high-fashion. He’s not, and he’s not particularly good at that, either. He tried so hard to turn up the volume, but only turned up the average age of his client by about sixty years. And the styling is so dated, it’s almost funny. Burnt-to-a-crisp stick-straight hair and sky-high black eyeshadow? I had no idea it was the late 90s again!

Photos: Lifetime

The top is half tee shirt, half shoddy Chanel knock-off. The rest of the look isn’t worth discussing.

Photos: Lifetime

Overworked, unoriginal, and not anywhere near as impressive as Kini seemed to think it was. It was marginally better than his other two looks, but it’s just so painfully stuffy. Even if you’re shooting for an Upper East Side clientele, this is fussier than Elaine Stritch. As a baby. With Ebola.

SEAN KELLY

Photos: Lifetime

The future Mr. Democracy Diva pointed out that the back of this dress looks like an abstract tampon, and I can’t un-see that. And probably never will.

Photos: Lifetime

We get it. You like fringe. The judges were right to call him out for overdosing on fringe – I mean, it’s their fault he used so much of it in the first place, since they always complimented his use of it and considered it his “signature,” – but I’m glad they took a firm stance on it. It shouldn’t have had to be explained to Sean that putting fringe on everything isn’t a great idea, but at least the judges bothered to do that much.

Photos: Lifetime

The only decent look of his collection, and it still wasn’t that great. It’s just his Creative Arts Emmys dress, paired with a white top. It looks high fashion enough, there’s just only so much of his two-layered, two-colored fringe that he somehow thinks is ombre that I can take.

Next time: It’s FINALLY time to end this shit-show of a season in S13 E14 – Finale Part 2.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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You’ve waited long enough. It’s time to bitch about that finale. 

The Challenge: The designers were given one month to create a 10-look collection, because no one who works for Lifetime gives a damn about the finale runway show. They simply give no fucks as to whether their insane time and money constraints mean that the resulting shows are mind-numbingly boring. And so this episode was, overall… mind-numbingly boring.

Guest Judge: Emmy Rossum, who I would have appreciated more if the producers hadn’t spoon-fed her soundbites about how marvelous the Tim Gunn save is. That was just too much bullshit for me to stomach. I don’t blame her for that – she was a very good judge, as far as non-designers go. (The bar I set is if an actress says anything besides catchy soundbites and “I would wear that”/”I wouldn’t wear that,” that’s a pretty good judge.)

AMANDA VALENTINE
Runner-Up

Photos: Lifetime

My overall impression of this collection: I probably would have selected Amanda for the win, but her collection and Sean’s collection were pretty close in terms of the level of talent, expertise, and creativity they displayed. Namely, they were a lot better than Char’s collection, and approximately a million times better than Kini’s, but put them next to Christian Siriano or Daniel Vosovic’s finale collections (or a billion other designers from the early, epic Bravo days of this show) and they would have been laughed off the runway. I liked this knit pattern that Amanda designed, but I don’t think she always used it in the best possible way. This tunic is fine, but those baggy leather pants add absolutely nothing to the look. And the top isn’t strong enough to stand on its own without something at least remotely interesting happening on the bottom.

Photos: Lifetime

Not my favorite, but cute enough, and I like the leather/suede combination. That was another good idea that could have been executed with a little more creativity and interest, but this vest is pretty good. It ends at a great place on the body, and the seaming in back is well-done. (Do these sound like half-assed comments? I’m going to blame that on the half-assed constraints that give the designers a month to create a collection rather than the, what, three months they used to get?)

Photos: Lifetime

Not a fan of the crotch of these pants. They’re not low enough to be dropped-crotch (which is a look I personally hate, but at least I understand it) and not high enough to be normal pants. They just look kind of depressed and ill-fitting. The top is interesting, though the front and back look like they’re from two different outfits. I know that’s intentional, but it sort of feels like Amanda couldn’t resist throwing some of that knit into this look, which didn’t necessarily need it.

Photos: Lifetime

I really enjoyed this dress. Or is it a romper? I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care. It’s not mind-blowing in terms of creativity, but it’s chic, mega-flattering, surprisingly sexy, and incredibly true to Amanda’s aesthetic. The cut-out in the center really brings this look to a modern, fresh place.

Photos: Lifetime

Definitely one of my favorite looks of the collection. She makes fantastic use of suede in this piece, bringing an earthy vibe to an otherwise hard, city-chic dress. I think Amanda does best in that strange space that combines the vibrant yet laid-back American southwest with the fast-paced, hectic aesthetic of New York City.

Photos: Lifetime

This one felt a little bit awkward, and the knit textile really wasn’t necessary here. If anything, it detracts from the look.

Photos: Lifetime

Even more awkward. While the cohesion of Amanda’s collection was impressive, this was one look that was actually too cohesive (a problem I’ll discuss further in Sean’s collection). Cohesion, like so much else in fashion, is a fine line to walk – too little, and your collection looks scattered and ill-conceived; too much, and it looks like you’re just sending ten of the same dresses down the runway. This fell into the latter category for me – I think she makes good use of all these elements in other dresses, but she didn’t bring them together well enough here to make me think this was something new, rather than a repetition of her other tricks.

Photos: Lifetime

Pretty damn cool. It could have been a hair shorter, but the slightly pleated blue leather detail in the back is really exceptional.

Photos: Lifetime

Well done, if slightly too tent-like. I think this textile-blocking works better in the shorter version she showed earlier in the collection.

A very effective, dramatic final look, featuring what is admittedly one of the coolest necklaces I’ve ever seen. I don’t love Amanda’s work overall, but I do think she has a serious future as a jewelry designer, based on this collection. The jewelry elevated so many looks, it helped make her collection more cohesive, and it just looks like awesome shit that I’d love to wear if I moved to someplace more laid-back than DC.

CHAR GLOVER
Fourth place

Photos: Lifetime

Against Tim’s express wishes, Char put this dress back in her collection. I don’t think she necessarily made the wrong choice there, but putting it FIRST in her collection was a massive mistake. It’s just not a strong look. While her collection was scattered and slightly sloppy as a whole, there were also enough absolutely fabulous looks that she could have had a show-stopping opening and closing look. But her pride got the best of her, and she put the dress she knew Tim hated front and center.

Photos: Lifetime

Char should have opened with this gown. Actually, she should have taken this mixed-print fabric as the inspiration for her entire collection. Even if she only used this actual fabric in two looks, she could have found or created textiles that look like the prints within this one – it would have made for an incredibly cohesive and creative collection.

I like the hood and the fabric, but I hate that slit. I’m not sure there’s anything on earth less flattering than a round-topped slit. Make that shit a sharp angle, or don’t do a slit at all. It just looks like the model tripped and tore her dress right open.

Photos: Lifetime

A very strong look. Char works well with prints – why she would do anything like that first teal dress or the white dress coming up next in the collection is beyond me. That is simply not where her strength lies. She can combine prints in a way that makes real women want to wear them, but she didn’t do enough of that in this collection.

Photos: Lifetime

The front looks like a cheap Marchesa knock-off; the back is an unmitigated disaster.

Photos: Lifetime

Tacky, dated, and lame.

Photos: Lifetime

Phenomenal. Definitely one of my two or three favorites of the collection.

Photos: Lifetime

For some reason, Char thought this look was the most emblematic of her aesthetic, the one that truly defined her as a designer. That’s strange, because I don’t really see her voice in this at all. I think it’s total filler, and there is no excuse for filler in a ten-look collection.

Photos: Lifetime

I loved this in part one of the finale, and I love it now.

Photos: Lifetime

The pants are terrific, but the gown-vest thing on top of it is awful. I don’t know why Char thought she was a skilled enough seamstress to make this out of upholstery fabric, but it looks as stiff as my grandmother’s couch. I still feel that Char’s collection was miles better than Kini’s, but this collection really lacked cohesion. And she didn’t start OR end with her strongest pieces, and that was a rookie mistake.

KINI ZAMORA
Third place

Photos: Lifetime

God almighty, did I hate this collection. Boring, tacky, cheap-looking, and overworked. It displayed all of Kini’s worst qualities – he can’t seem to make anything that would be worn after 1997, and he overdesigns to death. It’s very nice to be an uncommonly fast seamstress, but I still hate that that one skill alone is enough to get a designer into the finale, even when it’s always been clear that Kini has very little in the way of design skills.

Photos: Lifetime

Didn’t Kini make fun of Char for wanting to put a sweatshirt in her collection? What the fuck does he call this, if not an 80s-style sweatshirt? I understand it might be made of stiffer fabric, but it still looks like a sweatshirt, so maybe he should have shut his damn mouth about that.

Photos: Lifetime

The top is dated (those shoulders!) and the skirt looks like an unreasonably short, cheap Chanel rip-off.

Photos: Lifetime

The pants are okay from the front, I guess. The top just doesn’t do it for me. I don’t think it’s well-constructed or well-fit enough to give off the vibe it was meant to give off.

Photos: Lifetime

That skirt is overworked and ugly to boot.

Photos: Lifetime

The pants are fine, but again, that jacket looks like it’s been tortured half to death.

Photos: Lifetime

Pretty sure you can already find this in any mall in America.

Photos: Lifetime

Straight-up hideous. GIVE UP ON DENIM, KINI. YOU ARE NOT THE MASTER OF DENIM YOU BELIEVE YOURSELF TO BE. Is there a Denim Addicts Anonymous we can ship him off to? Remember, Kini, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. With denim.

Photos: Lifetime

This looks like it weighs about 4,000 pounds. It’s cool to see denim be this tightly pleated, but one good trick doesn’t turn a boring, stuffy look into an interesting one.

Photos: Lifetime

A truly terrible gown. She looks like she’s wearing gigantic, high-rise panties on top of her dress. The shoulders, like so much else of this collection, are a tacky, dated disaster. And the skirt is just. too. damn. much.

SEAN KELLY
Winner

Photos: Lifetime

I felt Sean’s collection suffered from the too-cohesive problem I discussed earlier. Cohesion is so important, but his seemed to say, “I can do clinical shit, and fringe, and that’s virtually all I’m capable of.” It just depresses me to no end that that’s enough to win Project Runway these days. Anyway, this look is pretty good. Definitely labcoat-chic, which isn’t an aesthetic that works for everyone, but I don’t hate it.

Photos: Lifetime

This looks like pajamas. Like an albino Muppet’s pajamas.

Photos: Lifetime

I know it’s not the same silhouette or color, but does this really show us anything that isn’t reflected in every other look in Sean’s collection? At least attempt to surprise us, man.

Photos: Lifetime

Whatever. It’s a satin tee-shirt and a flapper skirt. Am I supposed to get all worked up about this? Snooze.

Photos: Lifetime

One of his better looks, if still lacking originality.

Photos: Lifetime

Still looks like an abstract tampon to me and my fiancé.

Photos: Lifetime

I mean, sure, I guess there’s a Hollywood starlet out there who just wants to look like a hairy human creamsicle.

Photos: Lifetime

Great color, nice draping. Not particularly innovative.

Photos: Lifetime

We’e seen this from Sean what feels like a million times before. Yes, this bright, saturated orange looks divine on the model’s dark skin. But that’s the only thing that makes this dress different from any of the thousands of other fringe-induced calamities he’s designed.

Thank you for sticking through another season of insanity with me, dear readers. My recap of the decoy collections will be posted later this week. I will not be covering Project Runway All Stars or whatever that children’s Project Runway show is called, but I will be covering the next regular season of Project Runway, no matter how terrible it is. Because discussing it with you all is really what makes this show worth it.

Judges’ Top 2: Sean, Amanda
Diva’s Top 2: Amanda, Sean
Judges’ Bottom 2: Kini, Char
Diva’s Bottom 2: Char, Kini

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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We’ve discussed the best (or, what Lifetime has deemed to be the best, anyway); now let’s discuss the rest. 

EMILY PAYNE

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Like much of what Emily presented throughout the season, her decoy collection was kind of interesting, a bit sloppy, and very dated. Her biggest flaw from my perspective was that she considered herself to be an extremely innovative, alternative designer, but she doesn’t seem to have updated her aesthetic since the 90s. Twenty years ago, I’m sure her style would have been forward-thinking and fascinating, but now… not so much. This first look encapsulates that problem: it’s awkward, but more in a dated way than an alternative way. Still, at least it had a modicum of interest, which is more than I can say for Kini’s finale collection.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I think most outfits max out at two cut-outs. Add a third, and it just looks like the entire outfit is falling apart at the seams.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

The top is pretty, but I’m not sure this skirt was the best thing to pair it with. Also, is she wearing clear Doc Martens? I don’t know if I can support that.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

You can see the back of the previous look in the background, which makes me angry, because I liked that top until I saw it from this angle. It had more than enough going on in the front – it didn’t need to be a corset in the back as well. Anyway, this is one of the weaker looks of the collection. An ill-fitting collared tee and some shorts that are basically underwear? I’m underwhelmed.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Yeah, she definitely didn’t need TWO babydoll dresses in this same fabric. And my breasts ache just looking at how smooshed the poor model’s bust is.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

The skirt fabric is incredibly beautiful. Delicate, but with a touch of badassery. I wish the top were a bit more interesting, though.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

This blouse is the first piece of Emily’s collection that really, truly excites me. I think it’s fan-fucking-tastic, and displays all of Emily’s strengths as a designer. Sadly, she didn’t keep up this level of creativity and expert execution throughout the collection, but SHIT, do I love this top.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I don’t think I could hate this dress more if I tried. That is some sad, ill-fitting, tacky crap.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I loathe the elastic-looking waistband, held together with what appears to be a string. I know the sloppiness is intentional, but it’s not working for me at all.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I don’t even know what I’m looking at. A shrug made out of a rug? Over a bathing suit cover-up? This was really not the best look to close out Emily’s collection.

KORINA EMMERICH

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Say what you will about Korina’s atrocious personality, but her decoy collection was miles better than Kini and Char’s collections. Had she made it to the finale, I probably would have given her the win over Sean and Amanda, because she combined effortless cohesion with some really interesting, wearable, aesthetically-pleasing pieces. I don’t think either Sean or Amanda really managed all that. I’m not going to pretend this was the most original collection on earth – it’s got more than a touch of former PR contestant Mila’s 1960s mod aesthetic, and influences from lots of other designers – but I think it had a strong point of view. I’d wear this jacket in a heartbeat.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

She made terrific use of leather and color in her collection. It kept each look connected to the one that came before it, without making me feel like I was watching ten of the same dress walk down the runway. And I think those clear booties with the black-and-white striped embellishments were strangely brilliant.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

The vest is killer; the pants are adorable.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Ship this one off to Solange Knowles. She would work the SHIT out these oversized co-ords. It’s a refreshing, modern look.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I think I’d be thrilled to wear every single jacket in Korina’s entire collection.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I love the teal color, but I think this is one of Korina’s weaker looks. The top is a bit strange, proportionally-speaking, and the skirt is approaching Hefty-bag territory.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Love. Want this in my closet right fucking now.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Not my favorite, but I like that she took a risk with those strips of fabric.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Not quite interesting enough, but very wearable and chic.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I don’t love this as a closing look, mostly because I can’t really see enough of any of the pieces. The two-tone pants disappear within the lining of the coat. I can’t really tell what that coat is – the color is certainly delightful, but I really needed to see more of it. And the crop top underneath just feels like an afterthought. Overall, though, this was a collection that far outshone its fellow decoys, and probably could have snagged the win for the entire season.

SANDHYA GARG

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

For a second, I thought the word on this dress was “FEELINGS,” which made me laugh for about ten minutes until I realized it actually says “FEARLESS.” I like the ombre effect, but if you’re going to put giant letters on your dress, I should probably be able to read them.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

A borderline throwaway look. I don’t hate the top, but Sandhya is supposed to be a fuck-load more creative than this. I’d rather see a collection of over-designed, absolutely crazy looks than a bunch of boring monochromatic pieces, particularly from her.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I don’t think the asymmetry alone is enough to make this skirt a success. The darker green fabric just looks puffy and uncomfortable, and I don’t like the way it looks on the model’s figure.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Congrats. You made a tee shirt and shorts. THIS IS NEW YORK FASHION WEEK. TRY HARDER. (Also, I reiterate my earlier complaint: don’t put words on shirts that I have to squint to read.)

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I would have liked this a million times better if she had actually lined it instead of just throwing yellow panties on her model. That just seems lazy to me.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I’m sure she was going for interesting and intentionally askew, but it looks more awkward and accidental than anything else.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Pretty damn cool. Again, I can’t really tell if those letters are supposed to spell something, but I care less here than in the other looks, because this one is so much more interesting.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

A basic LBD with dumbass shit on the shoulders.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

This is starting to feel more like the best of Sandhya’s admittedly weird aesthetic. The way she pulled the fabric closer together for the sleeves really speaks to me, for some reason. I just love that detailing on the shoulders.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Hate the white underlay; love everything else about this. I can’t say her collection really lived up to the level of creativity I know Sandhya is capable of, but it was interesting all the same.

ALEXANDER KNOX

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I’m not a fan of Alexander’s collection. Every outfit looked weirdly cheap, painfully derivative, or both. His fabric choices weren’t particularly interesting, and the only looks I liked were straight out of other, better designers’ collections.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

A fantastic dress that he straight-up stole from about a billion other designers. Oh, and the hair and makeup are very clearly ripped off from some of McQueen’s recent runway shows.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Taking regular clothes and chopping them into awkwardly short lengths does not make them interesting, Alexander.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

The sartorial equivalent of a basic bitch.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Snooze.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Hideously unflattering and ugly to boot.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Unimaginative, and not particularly well-made.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

It’s not Alexander’s fault that Sean has forever turned me off to fringe, but I cannot look at any more of this shit for a solid six months after this. I have officially overdosed on fringe.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

As far as I’m concerned, Alexander’s collection was one big “whatever.”

FÄDE ZU GRAU

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Fäde’s collection was probably the most hit-or-miss of the decoy collections. The writing on his outfits only sometimes work, as did his combination of textiles. This first outfit (like much of his work) looks more like really cool pajamas than really cool runway fashion, but at least his work is preventing me from falling asleep at my desk. I can’t say the same for Alexander’s collection, that’s for damn sure.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Killer jacket, but the pants look REALLY dated. Does anyone even cuff their jeans anymore, unless they’re really short like me and haven’t gotten them hemmed yet?

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

A cute dress, but it doesn’t pack nearly enough of a punch to be on a New York Fashion Week runway.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Nope. I absolutely refuse to support overalls. And again, the “SO?” thing doesn’t really work for me, mostly because the sizing and centering is off. But not “off” enough to make it seem intentionally askew.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

A waste of a look.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

I want this dress in every color imaginable.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

The only text-textile that worked for me. I like the printed pants too, but they might be too casual to be paired with an already casual top.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

It’s a decent look, but I’m not sure it adds anything to the collection that wasn’t already there.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

Extremely fabulous workout clothes.

Photo: Blogging Project Runway

A strange pick for the final look. I like the jacket well enough, but the short pants with knee-high boots just seem completely nonsensical to me.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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